This woman is an angel and has been checking up on me daily during a very difficult time, but she kinda does remind me of Kevin from The Office though 😂 "Bowl not broken and neither are you". Love her sm.
Its been nearly 4 years since my cervical spine injury. My ex and my relationship started two months before my injury, and ended in Oct 2024.
I tried to take my life months after we initially broke up, because I went from living with the love of my life, working remotely part time, and having insurance to go to doctors appointments to take care of myself, to just being on my own and figuring out how to survive again- followed by losing my job and insurance another half a year later. My attempt was just days after my second Radio Frequency Ablasion, where I had gotten Post RFA Neuritis from my procedure.
I havent been to an appointment for my body in almost 2 years now. I am on 5 different medications right now and none of them are for the physical pain. I finally stopped taking my gabapentin months ago, bc i had ran out and had to go through the withdrawals for what felt like the 100th time, so I asked to be taken off of it (not that it ever helped anyways).
My therapist is ready to send me to a hospital again. Her and my family members are doing wellness checkups before its even hit 7 AM. She had my previous IOP reach out to get me enrolled again, except now it'd be $9k out of pocket. This health system is so fucked and basically designed to guarantee that people who do not get the proper care they need, will kill themselves.
If you have made it this far, thank you. I am losing what little bit of hope i had left. I am lonely, sad, and constantly in pain. Ready to quit my job i spent over half a year looking for. Ready to quit everything.
This word is new to me, but holds a lot of significance. If you think it's love, but its tearing you apart, maybe it's actually limerence.
My ex and I broke up in October 2024, followed by us talking and being intimate every couple of months, without him wanting to commit to me at any point. 2025 was absolute hell without the breakup, but us splitting has been the most I've ever grieved over losing someone (living and dead).
Fast forward to 2026, he hasn't responded to a single message the entire new year- until now. I know that we arent getting back together and that nothing is going to change, but I still feel so broken. Like this breakup just happened. He just tells me he misses me too and that he wishes things were different. Before we last spoke, he told me he'd be ready to get pregnant around his birthday (which is this month; and something I've wanted so bad for so long). Days later, we parted ways a final time. It just keeps replaying in my mind though. Why would you say that to someone that you dont even want to work on things with?
I really had been doing so much better on my own finally, but mother's day and his stupid birthday came up and I'm just a mess. There really is no point to this other than to just vent and get it all out.