u/Scooby_doo_1969

I finally made it; it was a struggle sometimes, as lots of obstacles tried to take it away from me. But I have managed to pull through. And I have been so much happier for it, and I have gotten to do so many things I never thought possible. Of course some things still need work, but I am in a much better place than I was a year ago.

List of what I have done

-learned a good shaving and self-care routine

-painted my nails

-grown my hair out to preferred length

-came out to all of my friends (without losing any) and made some new ones

-started going by my preferred and name and pronouns

-gotten a makeover and started learning makeup myself

-came out to my aunt and sister

-had pseudo periods

-small amount of voice training

-grown C cup breasts

-wore cute/fem outfits in public

-got to go on a girls' night out

-successfully came out at one of my jobs

-finally understood my sexuality as a lesbian

-had men try to hit on me (ironic)

-went to an adult prom in a beautiful dress and makeup

-experienced euphoria and lots of other emotions that I thought I had lost years ago

-gotten compliments and told I'm pretty

-gotten called she, her, miss, and madam by strangers

-passed well enough to be let into the women's changing room and use the women's bathroom

-had someone forget and someone else not be able to tell that I'm trans

Still to do

-come out to my parents and publicly

-legally change my name and ID

-fat redistribution and start progesterone

-get consistently correctly gendered

-continue voice training

-actually see a girl when I look in a mirror

I am in my late 20s and didn't know until a few years ago. Don't let people gaslight you into believing it's too late

So I'm 9 months on HRT almost 10. I have been growing my hair out for over a year but it just barely reaches neck. I've been experimenting with my clothes and style all the while. I haven't been able to get laser hair removal so I just shave everyday. I have always been tall and lanky, but estrogen had given me a little of breast growth. I'm still trying to learn makeup too, right now I only know mascara and lipstick.

So I am not really that confident I look like a girl. So I still often boymode. But every once in a while I go out fully fem. I try not to talk to much because of my deep voice. So I can just pass by in the background.

But this last time something was different. I was getting called she/her by strangers. And I ran into someone I used to know and they didn't even recognize me at all. So I tried going shopping and they let me into the female changing room.

It feels impossible to believe I feel like I'm nowhere near close to where I want to be in progress. But I can't deny the amount of joy this has brought me. It feels unreal like people are just humoring me. But the people legitimately don't recognize me.

Hi, trans woman here. I wanted to talk about the new episode and the discourse of whether Jax is transgender or not.

So there has been lots of debate on whether Jax is a Transgender woman, or just a crossdresser, an effeminate man, or just a man who has problems with toxic masculinity. Some of the main things I see discussed are how Jax reacts after Ribbit puts the bow on Jax's head and refers to them as a girl. Who is the song " Isn't She Wonderful " referring to? Why does the show keep using He/Him pronouns for Jax and some other things?

But first, I want to talk about some of my personal experiences as a trans woman. So we have some context to compare Jax to. If you don't care, skip the next paragraph.

So, so coming to people is really hard. No surprise there. But it can become a lot worse if you have had people in the past reject or harass you for it. When I first tried to come out to my friends, I would get panic attacks or extreme anxiety. Coming out to multiple people at once is even harder. You have so many more variables at play, and maybe you don't trust all of them on the same level or the same way. Repression or living in denial is a powerful thing. And it is unfortunately common to fall back into. Even though the first few people I told reacted okay, I considered going back into the closet or denial. Because I didn't feel ready to try and explore myself. And I had it easy; lots of my other transgender friends have had experiences of friends or family faking being supportive. Then would gaslight them into not pursuing it or make fun of them behind their back. It's very hard to fully trust even people who seem supportive after experiences like that.

But I'm getting sidetracked. Back to Jax.

So Jax panics when Kufmo shows up outside Ribbit's door, and Ribbit puts her bow on Jax's head. Some people have interpreted this as Jax getting upset at being referred to as a girl, and then asking her to never talk about it again. This is not an unusual reaction for a trans woman. When you have had people fake acceptance for you in the past, it becomes hard to trust that people are actually accepting you. And especially having someone you are not ready to come out to, like Kufmo interrupt can scare you back into wanting to hide. So Jax getting scared off after being called a girl can still work if they are trans. In fact, considering Jax used to be close with their mother before she became emotionally abusive, Jax might have been worried Ribbit would become the same way. Coming out and staying out isn't as easy as you think; many go back into the closet for safety or because it seems easier. It's painful but true.

As for why they would still call Jax he/him after the reveal. That is actually really common for trans people; it can take time or be scary to start going by new pronouns so soon. Many of my trans friends (including myself) waited weeks or months to change our pronouns. But Jax also never explicitly came out to Pomni or told her they wanted to go by different pronouns. And at least with my friends, we always go with what the person themselves last decided. Also, since the real-life version of Jax hasn't come out yet, it would have been kinda confusing to flip-flop on the pronouns they use for Jax.

Now let's talk about Isn't She Lovely. There has been lots of debate on whether this song is referring to Jax or Pomni. And yes, some of the song COULD refer to Pomni with how it talks about a girl being so wonderful and made of love. But I think most people skip the most important part. The verse "isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful, isn't she precious, less than one minute old" sticks out, especially being the first verse.

Gooseworx is a music writer. If she wanted a song just about how wonderful Pomni is, she would be able to find it easily, or at least one that didn't mention less than 1 minute old in the first verse. Or she could have even written it herself; she did the music in the Hazbin Hotel pilot and all of Digital Circus. So the song choice is very intentional. 

If Jax egg truly finally cracked, thanks to Pomni, the song could only be referring to them since their new true self is only less than one minute old. Nothing about Pomni is less than 1 minute old; she has been in the circus for weeks. And she learned about being a digital copy maybe a day or more ago now. And she doesn't decide she is still Pomni, not Abigail, until later in the movie. And well, Jax was very mean and hateful before, the song works as a very potent and sad reflection of the wonderful woman they could have been if they had been willing to open up.

But that is not even considering the biggest thing. Gooseworx herself is Trans. It makes more logical sense that she would write a story based on her own experiences. Then a story of what it is like to be a crossdresser or just an effeminate man. 

But here is the really important part.

If you relate to Jax's struggle to accept themself, that is fine. It doesn't have to mean you are transgender too. Struggling with their gender identity or just accepting yourself, is something hundreds of queer and non-queer people do. You can relate to the experience of a trans person or queer person without being one. Repression and Masking are very common issues for all sorts of people. Because, in the end, we are all human and we all share the human experience.

But Occam's razor suggests the simplest or most logical answer is most likely true. Also, with the current political climate towards Trans people in America and other places. It is understandable why they would avoid being explicit about who Jax is.