u/Scottishprincess1989

i come with a heavy heart mama passed Wednesday and the funeral was Saturday i really don't know how i feel it's like i wanna have a panic attack i want to pick up the phone and call her i want to be angry i want to be happy i have no idea what to do it's really hard. i kinda want to be petty everyone on her side of the family has asked my sister how she was doing and how her sisters are doing but not one message from them asking how i am. yesterday i messaged my great aunt then i called both times with no answer, then my mama's sister messaged in a family group chat then my aunt AND my sister answered her i'm done with that side if i sound petty i am sorry i was closer to my mama than my sister was that is why she is having so much guilt thank you for all of y'all's advice

mama's oxygen has gone down she had stopped breathing once i don't want her to go but i don't want her to suffer i watched my grandma on hospice but i never saw her take her last breath i really don't want to be in here when she takes her last breath. I saw one person who was my mama's ex he was on hospice i saw him take his last breath and i don't wanna see her suffer either i would like to hear y'all's story if y'all don't mind

again i may be all over the place. Today i went and saw mama we got up here the doctor came in and said there is nothing more they can do they are putting her in inpatient hospice. so when more happens i will type more i know nobody probably reads this but if someone does thank you and you matter more than you know am i am proud you are here

i can't wait for Drew to come back i have been a fan of his since '07 how long have y'all been a fan