AITA for refusing to hang out with my friends after they constantly embarrass me “as a joke”?
I’m a 15-year-old girl in high school, and I genuinely can’t tell if I’m overreacting or if my friends are actually mean to me.
I joined a new school in 8th grade and I’m now in 10th. One of my closest friends (“Paige”) is super popular and has been at the school forever, so she knows everyone. We’re in the same class, take the same bus, and spend most of our time together along with three other girls.
At first I thought their behavior was just normal teasing, but now I constantly feel awful after hanging out with them.
They “joke” by ignoring me, walking past me like I don’t exist, excluding me from conversations, making fun of things I say, or making backhanded comments about my appearance/personality and calling it “constructive criticism.” Whenever I get upset, they say I’m too sensitive and that it was “just a joke.”
One time Paige literally dumped half a bottle of water on me because everyone thought it would be funny. I got upset afterward, and instead of understanding why, she kept saying things like “It’s not that deep” and “Can’t you take a joke?” She apologized eventually, but stuff like this happens all the time.
The confusing part is that they’re not mean 24/7. Sometimes they can actually be really sweet, which messes with my head even more. Like one time after they ignored me almost the whole day at school “as a joke,” they surprised me with this really cute picnic setup afterward and acted super nice. Moments like that make me feel guilty for even questioning the friendship because then I start wondering if I’m just dramatic.
But then the next day I’m the punchline again.
Before becoming friends with them, I was never this insecure. Now I overthink everything — the way I look, talk, dress, my personality, everything. Sometimes they point out flaws about my appearance and say they’re “helping me improve,” but afterward I just feel worse about myself.
What’s weird is they also copy me constantly. My handwriting, the way I decorate notes, how I make projects, even little things I say. So sometimes I feel like they secretly admire me, but other times I feel like they don’t respect me at all.
Now it’s summer break, and Paige keeps asking me to hang out. I keep saying no because honestly I just don’t want to anymore. Hanging out with them usually leaves me feeling embarrassed, drained, or insecure afterward.
She got mad after I kept refusing and has basically started ignoring me now.
The problem is I don’t really have other close friends at school, and I still have another school year left with them. I feel stuck because if I distance myself, I’ll probably be alone, but staying friends with them is seriously affecting my self-esteem.
Am I too sensitive, or are these friendships actually unhealthy? I genuinely need advice. 😭