I don't understand weight loss at all
Hi, posting under a throwaway for.. well... the shame I feel at my current situation in life.
I'm currently sitting at 474 lbs and have recently started a "meal plan" out of desperation to lose anything. Each meal is 500-600cals per, and I have 2 per day - except for Saturdays which is like a mixture of steamed veggies and air fried meats, and I do snack intermittently every day on like, cheeses, pickles, yogurt, pretzels, deli meats, etc. but only in moderation.
I'm not going hungry but I am definitely trying my hardest to keep my diet tight and be good.
The problem that I'm running into is that despite trying to diet so hard, I don't seem to be losing much of anything... and I've gotten to such a high weight now that I can't even go on walks or spend time with friends anymore... I feel like a prisoner in my body and even just the simple joys of life hurt all the time.
I also suffer from edema and retain a lot of water weight, and recently had a doctor give me an assortment of medication for that so I dropped like 10 lbs of water weight fairly quickly from it, but then seemed to gain back 5 from seemingly nothing and hasn't really budged since.
My left and right legs were decently swollen but have come down a fair amount from that treatment... but my doctors are just at a loss overall.
They can't figure out what the hell is wrong with me and why I can't lose weight... either that or they just don't care... but I don't understand how weight loss works because no matter what I do I swear it just doesn't seem like my body plays by the rules.
If "calories in calories out" is supposed to be the way to do it, then I can't be hitting anywhere close to the 3000-something calories I supposedly need to maintain this weight... and honestly even at my worst I can't imagine I was ever hitting that. By my count most days I'm hitting 1400-1800.
Sorry for rambling, just trying to give out all the information that comes to mind for this, but I don't understand it and it's very frustrating. Is there something I'm doing horribly wrong and don't know it?
I was thinking maybe my whole body is just retaining tons of water somehow and my "actual" weight is way lower so my caloric thresholds are way lower as well? But I truly don't know if that's a thing, I'm just rationalizing out of desperation and sadness.
I've only been on this new diet for 2 weeks but I still feel like I should have seen *something* from my calorie deficit by now... but I don't know. I'm clueless. Maybe it takes longer.
I'm hoping someone here has some ideas on what to do... it feels like I'm just cursed to be this size for the rest of my life.