God’s plan
“god doesn’t make mistakes”
then stop telling me losing my baby was part of some beautiful plan because there is nothing beautiful about a mother leaving the hospital with empty arms
nothing peaceful about grief so heavy it changes you forever
nothing comforting about crying yourself to sleep while the rest of the world keeps moving like your child never existed
people love saying “everything happens for a reason” until the reason destroys someone’s life. until it steals their joy, their faith & the version of them that existed before
so no, hearing “god had another plan” does not help
it does not heal me
it does not make this pain easier to carry
because no matter how many times people say it, i will never believe my baby was supposed to die.
This is the exactly how I feel. After Mother’s Day, that is all I was hearing. It was my first Mother’s Day without my baby and I could stop crying. Everyone was very supportive and caring, but just to have multiple people tell me this I just got angry.
I hate feeling this way… I just have so much anger and I try my best to not take it out on others but THIS is the one thing that will make me lose my mind.