DATING AND HOMESCHOOL
I have homeschooled my daughter since she was 7 years old. She is now 17. She has crushed on 2 boys in a homeschool co-op she attended, but it was never ANYTHING serious, just puppy love in middle school. When she reached high school she and a boy at church liked each other and wanted to date. She was 16 at this time. I did tell her that she needs to be friends first and worry about dating later. However, she and the boy, who was 17 both insisted that they were smitten with each other and wanted to date. She eventually met the mom and the mom thought my daughter was sweet but immature (I do not necessarily disagree). My daughter is quite young minded. My daughter can be shy and playful for her age. The mom had lived a strict and rough life, causing her to grow up fast, so my daughter's childlike personality annoyed her. Long story short, the boy's parents didn't agree with the relationship and it eventually ended.
The second relationship is now happening where my daughter turned 17 and met a young man who is 19, met at a Christian camp. They were both program coordinators and worked with young children. The young man is courteous, respectful, and bright. He is in his second year of college and wants to be an engineer and later go on to get his PhD. At this time, my daughter had matured by being a camp counselor at the camp and taking on a lot of responsibility. The young man also became interested my daughter and wanted her to meet his dad. The dad was friendly but told him that he did not agree with the relationship because my daughter was homeschooled and may not have received a proper education. He also stated that she seemed to be mentally immature. My daughter has been a member of Civil Air Patrol for 3 years and would like to join the Air Force or go to college and participate in ROTC. However, this is not enough for the boy's father. He wanted to know what other activities she was involved in. All she could say was drama and volleyball. I do not I think the father thinks this is not worthy enough; however, it seems that his main hangup is that my daughter is homeschooled and has not "been out into the world." He feels she will not know how to handle life. Therefore, he told his son in front of my daughter that he could date my daughter, but he doesn't support the relationship. My daughter is crushed. She doesn't want to be in a relationship where parents are not completely onboard, but she and the young man claim to "love" each other. The father hurt and offended my daughter. I think she was most offended by the part about "proper education." This part also offended me because I am a former teacher and take pride in educating my daughter. We are on a strict schedule, and she is learning subjects that are accredited by the state. The part about her being "mentally immature" really hurt my daughter because she has heard this in the past from a previous parent and she feels like it's something she needs to "fix."
I am hurting for her, because I feel like a homeschool student has to prove they are smart but also a valuable partner. I wanted to list all the wonderful things my daughter brings to the table, such as her creativity, love of children, her big heart, and yes, her naive nature. She is loyal and will help anyone in need. However, I feel it really doesn't matter now. I believe the father envisions his son with someone who seems to be extremely ambitious and can portray the "power couple" image. His son says that the things that his father questions are the things that he loves about my daughter. He loves her childlike nature and free spirit. he also says she is the most nonjudging positive person he's met. He is also frustrated and wanting to defy his parents and not visit them on his college breaks. I am totally against this and just feel bad for them both. I really want to tell my daughter to just walk away and not pursue this relationship. I can't watch her feel like she is not good enough for the dad. I also had never thought about how homeschooling can affect dating if the partner was never homeschooled and comes from a high performing academic environment.
Does anyone have advice or has anyone experienced this?