Sending a letter
EDIT: If this is the wrong sub, please let me know. I'll delete the post and ask else where.
First of all, I want to say that I feel guilty about my actions. I was in contact with a woman who was in a relationship of more than 10 years herself, and I am guilty for being part of someone else's affair.
During our contact, she indicated that her relationship was dying and that it was coming to an end soon. That end never came. We only met up once we had fun, and we talked and shared a lot with each other. I was also her emotional pillar of support at times when she wasn't doing well, and I did a lot to be there for her.
Looking back later, when the honeymoon phase was over, it turned out that the lady hadn't been entirely honest with me or with the other person. She was quite toxic in her behavior and actions: a lot of gossiping, lying, belittling other people—anything to make herself feel better than she actually was.
I, someone who is in early recovery from an addiction and struggling with mental health, needed someone who could support me just a little bit. In the end, she said that I wasn't normal, was unstable, and wasn't doing anything about my recovery because she didn't understand what I was going through. she had me at my weakest point when I needed support myself. This resulted in another relapse, from which I fortunately recovered from.
Ultimately, she said that she no longer sees a friendship in us, and that I please will not contact her anymore. To which I responded with; Fine, then this is the last you will hear from me. Thanks for the friendship, I had a good time. And I wish you the best.
My guilt that I am part of someone else's will, I am disgusted by my deed and actions. I hereby want to be completely open with her partner and send him a letter as follows:
>Personally, I am not someone who likes to say this or approach someone in this way, but I do want to tell you the truth.
>Unfortunately, I am the second guy [name cheater] has cheated with. Although I cannot and will not be able to justify it, I hereby offer my sincere apologies. I realize myself that I was also at fault. I heard the stories about her first affair two years ago.Although I do not want to pull the same stunt, I did hear from [name cheater] what a good heart you have, and that you deserve to know this too.
>I have no hard evidence that I can provide right now, other than looking in her Discord account and searching for the name "[my name]"; this will be listed under "deleted user" and scrolling back to Feb 25. That is the date we agreed upon.
>I am not a person who likes to break up or destroy relationships. But then I ask myself the question: "If I have been in a relationship for more then 10 years, would I want to know where I stand? Is this just another coincidence or a pattern?" Personally, I would certainly like to know where I stand, how shitty the news should be.
>I hereby apologize once again for my actions and for approaching you in this way. If I could turn back time, I should never have started contact with [name cheater].
>Wishing you lots of strength
I am looking for advice on whether I should send this by post. I asked people around me for advice, some say the partner need to know, other said it would be best to put it all down.
You don't have to answer that I am an asshole, because I already know that of my actions. This is not a letter of revenge nor an emotional outburst, but to warn someone that the poor woman keeps going in circles in there relationship.
Thank you.
EDIT: As you can read, I am not the first person she has cheated with. This has to be added.
EDIT2: The layout of the letter was wrong. This has been fixed and nothing further has been added.