u/SeeedhiJalebiii

I feel like life has done enough grand gestures to show how it is the most beautiful and dreadful thing ever happened to me, yet I sometimes feel a lot, which ends up in my cycle of overthinking. My past has created such a version of me that is rigid, strict, and ethical. My rules are somewhat strict, and tbh they aren't the problem, but the way the generation we are living in today, it's hard to find someone who appreciates us, and tbh people like me the way we are. My Past was huge, like it's the reason why i am the way i am today. I was called too much, too good and nice and sometimes i feel like, is being someone who loves the way we all should love and appreciate our loved ones is a sin then what is right?

I think being someone who has some rules regarding intimacy and boundaries is overwhelming, having a past and trauma is overwhelming for today's shitty generation, idk how bad this is going to get now </3 but yes, i might just be the way everybody icks me for. My emotions are always in place but after knowing few things, the men who approached me suddenly changes the way they are, shows alot abt how traumatizing they may be.

On the very next day of Valentine's, I read this one poem he wrote here, me being an enthusiast completely ended up awing at his writing skills and loved the way he expressed his feelings, turns out it was just him improving his style, nothing huge. Sliding in my dm's just to read my work and awing with the fact that i was a better writer (he said that not me). Few 100 kms away yet the way we ended up vibing felt as if we were two lost pieces of puzzles, he saw the side i never showcased to the world, the constant pagal aurat and funny ragebaiting was cute enough to make me smile even if i am sad or hurt.

But sometimes for a person to grow and achieve huge miles, they have to loose things, maybe i lost you, and you def were a red flag, someone who was red flag due to his immense emotions for me, whatever you will say, you were a red flag cause you chose to disappear.

This is it, i am numb now