u/SeekingLoveThruYHWH

Hi guys, I (21M) started kickboxing again and I recently got back into sparring. I only have about 5 months of experience in general but I understand the basics. I have sparred before up until this point, but it was light and flow sparring. I go in the ring to spar and my sparring partner is 210-220lbs, and I am 159lbs. We’re around the same height. I go in and he asks “have you done this before?,” and I said “only a little bit”. I then asked him if we can go light to the head and flow spar. I didn’t have a mouth piece so I really wanted to make sure we were gonna do flow sparring.

Well the round starts and he immediately closes the distance and power jabs me. I brush it off and kept it soft on my end, I figured he’s a heavyweight, I’m sure it was an accident. Well he then oblique kicks me and I’m starting to think this guy is trying to hurt me. He then continues to throw 100% in his shots, especially his jabs. He continues to oblique kick me. As the round went on, he then threw a head-kick as hard as he could and luckily it hit my shoulder and glove and didn’t land flush, and the whole gym gasped. It was a knockout shot that I got extremely lucky on. He then proceeded to say “sorry didn’t mean to go for your head”.

I then realized this guy was trying to hurt me. I am luckily agile and was able to circle away from him until the round ended. Once the next round began, I said firmly “lighter to the head please” and he agreed and threw one light punch, then followed it up with another power jab.

I left the ring and the next opponent asked if I was gonna spar again and I said “not with him” and walked to the sidelines, and my other sparring partner saw it and said he was actually throwing hard. I was trying to compose myself because I was distraught and heated to be honest, but I didn’t want to escalate our sparring session into a full on brawl. I then watched him spar this other light fighter who is probably 145 and 5’7, and he teed off on him too. He also oblique kicked him. Me and another guy watching from the sidelines kept looking at each other in disbelief that this guy was going that hard. I can tell by the smaller fighter’s face that he was uncomfortable.

After he got done sparring the smaller fighter, I was sitting down and told him “hey man, don’t you think you’re a bit big to be throwing that hard against smaller fighters?”

he then says “I wasn’t throwing hard, was I?” and asked the smaller fighter he just sparred and the smaller fighter says “yes you were”

I then proceeded to say that he’s too big to do that and if he wants to hit that hard he needs to hit that hard with a heavyweight, not a lightweight. I told him to go spar a heavyweight like that, not a lightweight.

He then says sorry and proceeds to say it was because he was rusty. Well he sparred a bigger guy next and he pulled his punches but was still oblique kicking. After he sparred him the bigger guy said oblique kicking is unacceptable. I then complained to the assistant coach and then texted the main coach who wasn’t there that I would be discontinuing my membership. Nobody was supervising our sparring when this occurred, and I left class with a tension headache and sensitivity to light. I had a concussion two months prior to this unrelated to kickboxing and was super frustrated because I felt like this guy was out to actually hurt my well being.

I pulled the plug and I am now prioritizing my brain health, but did I overreact?

Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could get some feedback or maybe encouragement regarding waiting till marriage. I’m currently 21 and I am finding it extremely hard to wait. Not just on a hormonal level, but also on a societal pressure level. I feel like men who wait until marriage aren’t respected. I’m not saying this to boast or brag, but I am a fit and relatively handsome man and receive attention from woman, and I wonder if my sacrifice will be appreciated by my future spouse. Even with secular woman who are into me, they seem to completely lose attraction immediately when I mention I’m celibate and waiting till marriage.

A part that also bothers me is the lack of people who actually are/have been saving themselves for marriage. Not in a “holier than thou” way, but just in a way of I would be put at ease of my insecurity if me and my partner went into a marriage baggage free in that element of life.

I’m gonna be one hundred percent honest, I don’t put virginity on a pedestal with a future partner, and it’s not a definite dealbreaker, but it does suck knowing that most likely my wife hasn’t saved herself for marriage. Obviously a repentant heart is a great thing, but it genuinely bums me out.

I feel like sometimes I’m wasting my youth, and people seem to not understand nor respect me waiting. People assume I’m intimate with many people but once they learn I’m not, I can see the respect from them disappear.

I feel like even if you’re a guy who is celibate by choice, people don’t respect it. And people especially don’t like it if you want someone who has also been celibate.

Of course I’m doing this for God first and foremost. But sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is even gonna be appreciated/reciprocated, or if my standards aren’t even realistic. I feel like to be a “cool guy” to the world they want you to sleep around, and when you say you aren’t, they’re weirded out by it.

I’m just feeling a bit bummed overall. I wonder if my waiting will even be appreciated.