#We tied 3-3
Well, that is a BIG lost 2 points for us. We fucking let this game slip through our hands due to a defensive error and a ref who fucking LOVED SKC. Shitty game. Shitty tie. Gives me 0 confidence that we will make the playoffs.
Won't be dedicated to watching until the last 30. I'll try it best to update! Ready for a W!
Kick off is at 5:30 PM PST (probably closer to 5:40)
#Portland Timbers 3 - 3 Sporting KC
3' - Games barely started and these announcers are already annoying.
6' - SKC hit the post and it bounces across the mouth and out for a corner.
10' - ⚽ GOAL DDC!! LASSITER BEATS HIS MAN DOWN THE LINE AND PLAYS AN EASY BALL TO AN OPEN DA COSTA WHO SLOTS IT! LET'S GO!!!
12' - 🟨 Yellow card for Janssen for a pullback
13' - SKC with a shitty foul but no yellow for them. Hmmmmmm...
1 minute of stoppage
46' - ⚠️Stone cold PK isn't called on Velde. They are looking at it. Absolutely mind blowing how they didn't point to the spot IMMEDIATELY. Absolute joke.
48' - They are still looking at it. What a fucking joke of a ref. They do eventually call it. Fucking dork ass ref.
49' - ⚽ GOAL FROM THE SPOT FOR JANSSEN!!! LET'S GO!!!
50' - They immediately called a PK for SKC. So soft but they call it RIGHT AWAY. What the actual fuck. We have to pull fucking hairs out to get ours and they get the PK right away.
52' - ⚽ Pants saves the initial shot, but the follow up is buried. Joke ass refs for a joke ass league.
8 minutes later, they blow the whistle. Fucking dumb ass bullshit league. Whistle should have been blown after our CLEAR AF PK which needed to be looked at. God damn I hate PRO.
##Halftime
Wish it was 2-0... Too bad this center ref is complete and utter garbage. I can't believe how bad those 2 PKs were. Plus the no-yellow calls vs Velde. Dude was getting cleaned out, but NBD, he plays in Green and Gold.
All-in-all, it wasn't a bad half from us. Our possession is wonderful to watch. Insane how bad we were under Neville.
59' - A 5th foul from their Miller including a shirt tug (which was a yellow in the 12' for Janssen) is allowed and fine. Ref just gave him a "don't do it again, good buddy." Hate this ref.
60' - This half has been all SKC so far. We haven't had the ball for any period of time.
62' - Our first shot of the half. Fuck.
63' - Antony & Caicedo ON 🔁 Janssen & Chara OFF
64' - ⚽ GOAL LASSITER!!! FORY GETS PLAYED IN BEHIND BY DA COSTA AND HE PLAYS A GREAT BALL TO LASSITER WHO IS ABSOLUTELY CLINICAL!
70' - ⚽ goal them. Fuck. Good finish in a spot surrounded by players. Pants should be doing a bit better.
73' - ⚽ goal them. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!! Absolutely absent back line. They play in behind us so easy to the dude who has like 6 goals in 5 games. Fuck us dude. We have to get 3 points in this game or our playoff run can just get fucked.
75' - Izoita ON 🔁 Ortiz OFF
76' - Guh... just gifting the ball right back to them like we don't even want to have it.
81' - Izoita with a good hit. Unfortunately right at the keeper.
87' - Aravena & Smith ON 🔁 Lassiter & Velde OFF
7 minutes of stoppage... so we'll probably have 20 minutes of stoppage if the first half is anything to go by.
95' - Aravena tries to score with 0 angle when DDC is STANDING on the 6 yard box. Fucking dumb shit.
96' - More contact in the box. Ref doesn't give us a PK. Cool bud.
97' - Aravena is too slow to get to the ball played in behind.
#Game over
#We lost 1-2.
Fuck
Gonna be at the game tonight! I'll try to update as I can. LET'S FUCKING GO!!!
Kick off is at 7:30 PM PST (per mlssoccer.com, so probably closer to 7:45 PM PST kick)
#Portland Timbers 1 - 2 Austin FC
8' - first corner. Some really tidy play down our left side so far. Liking it so far...
18' - Clear header back post for them and they miss wide thankfully.
21' - If Caicedo is a little more aware, we are counter attacking here and not defending a corner...
25' - ⚽ goal them. Velde seemed to be fouled, but I'm in the TA so who knows? Scrappy shit in the middle landed to their feet and they buried it. Fuck.
28 ' - Finally a shot on target and it is right at their keeper.
35' - 🟨 Yellow card for Austin #29
41' - Our offense has been VERY poor so far. Hopefully we are dangerous at least once this half...
45' - Finally some sustained pressure and Lassiter let's it roll out of bounds while dribbling. Offense is COLD.
1 minute of stoppage
##Halftime
Not a great half. Definitely missing Kelsy right now.
47' - 🟨 Yellow card for Austin #3
54' - Some good old PROshit going down...
58' - FK by Lassiter is just a bit too far away to generate the power to beat the keeper. Damn. I think the TA will push us to equalize eventually.
60' - Lassiter is clearly fouled there, but PRO gonna PRO
63' - Antony ON 🔁 Guerra OFF (Guerra was largely absent for these 60'. Wish we saw more out of him.
65' - Another FK in a good spot but a little too far. Velde hit it wide though. Fuck.
73' - FINN OUTTA NOWHERE WITH THE SLIDING BLOCK! AMAZIN
75' - Ortiz & Smith ON 🔁 Bassett & Fory OFF
81' - Another FK centrally but too far to shoot. Ended up clipping it back post and it sucked.
83' - Fernandez ON 🔁 Eric Miller OFF
86' - ⚠️ VAR CALLED A HANDBALL PK FOR US??? IS THIS REAL??
89' - ⚽ GOAL ANTONY!!! LETS GO!!!!
6 minutes of stoppage
93' - ⚽ goal them. Fuck. Bullshit.
95' - Velde hit the post! Fuck!!
#Game over
Not enough from us. We should have fucking won this game.
LET'S GO!!! READY FOR MORE TOTAL MARTI BALL!!
Kick off is at 7:30PM PST (per mlssoccer.com, so probably closer to 7:40 PM PST kick)
#Portland Timbers 1 - 1 LAFC
Here we go!
2' - Great build up, but an indecisive Lassiter kills the forward play.
4' - ⚽️ GOAL DDC!! VELDE PICKS UP A LOOSE PASS THROUGH THE MIDDLE AND VELDE PLAYS AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT THROUGH BALL TO DDC'S FANTASTIC RUN! DDC TUCKS IT NEAR POST! BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
7' - 🧤 PANTS WITH AN AMAZING KICK SAVE AND IT HITS THE CROSSBAR! OMG!
16' - 🟨 Yellow Card for LAFC's #66
17' - 🧤 Great low hand save by Pantemis!
18' - 🧤 Another massive save for Pants!
20' - ⚠️ Dangerous FK spot for LAFC! Hit right into the wall! Phew.
22' - Pants is being warned about time wasting... Okay bud.
28' - Velde wins the ball back and takes a shot! Love it!
29' - Fory with an incredible tackle. One for the highlight reel!
31' - 🟨 Yellow card for Kelsy (4 fouls from Kelsy so far, but I have been loving him not backing down. Insane he hasn't won more fouls, but okay.)
32' - Someone just goes THROUGH the back of Velde. No call. OK PRO REF...
35' - Caicedo plays a beautiful ball to Velde who coasts across the field and plays a wonderful ball to Bassett, who just duffs the shot.
These last 10 minutes have been tough. Pinned back, barely getting out...
2 minutes of stoppage
46' - The softest "foul" you'll see from Bassett on Son. FK RIGHT on the 18. Ultimately blocked and cleared.
##Halftime
Incredible goal by us. LA has been attacking us SO MUCH but we have kept it together! Hopefully we can counterattack another goal next half. Pants has been so solid!
50' - 🧤 ANOTHER GREAT PANTS SAVE!
54' - Antony & Ortiz ON 🔁 Lassiter & Bassett OFF
56' - Smith ON 🔁 Fory OFF (seemingly injured?)
56' - 🧤 Pants with another kick save!
62' - Great long ball to Velde and a clear chance for Kelsy, but he doesn't put it on target.
68' - Clear as hell chance for LAFC from a corner and thankfully we are willing to put a fucking body on them to throw them off. The fight defensively has been MASSIVE.
70' - Janssen & Fernandez ON 🔁 Kelsy & Velde OFF
79' - ⚽️ They scored. Fuck. Knew we were too lucky for too long. Just let their best player run at us and didn't close down in time. Brilliant shot. Nothing Pants could do. Now it is going to be 15 minutes of them trying to get the second. Fuck me.
81' - Janssen does a brilliant job getting us forward. DDC scores, but he was a yard off receiving it.
84' - Freekick in a dangerous position and a foul is called on us IMMEDIATELY after it was hit.
86' - 🟨 Yellow card for LAFC #99 for diving in the box. Fucking dork!
89' - 🟨 Yellow card for Janssen. Tactical foul.
4 minutes of stoppage
91' - Dangerous corner that JUST missed.
92' - Fernandez gets a chance! Ball is deflected harmlessly into the keeper's arms.
93' - 🟨🟥 Second yellow for Janssen. He boots the ball away after a stupid call against him. Fuck.
95' - 🧤 PANTS WITH A MASSIVE SAVE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
#GAME OVER
Ties that feels like wins!
Let's go!
#We lose 1-2
On the balance, it was pretty good. We could have easily been blown away, but we showed character when it mattered and almost snuck a point.
First game of the Cifuentes Era! Hopefully we get something positive out of this one! LET'S GO TIMBERS!!
Kick off is at 7:30PM PST (per mlssoccer.com, so probably closer to 7:45 PM PST kick - Why do they lie to us? It is so annoying.)
#Portland Timbers 3 - 1 Club Tijuana
Game is about to start and they announced that we are officially out because of the Club America & Austin result.
12' - Free kick in a dangerous position won by Kelsy is blasted over the bar by Bassett.
15' - Good header chance for Tijuana but thankfully straight at Muse.
19' - ⚽️ Goal them. Fuck. One of their dudes just in the middle and taps it in from a cross. Kamal is nowhere to be found. Finn is at least near, but couldn't make a play.
21' - ⚠️ VAR looked at offside, but said it wasn't. Too close to really tell and MLS is a joke league who can't afford good sideline cameras. Why we can't have shitty cameras mounted up high, I have no idea. First goal in Leagues Cup for Tijuana. We have looked pretty good so far, but first goal in the Cifuentes Era goes against us. Fucking sucks...
35' - 🟨 Yellow card for Tijuana #16
40' - ⚽️ GOAL KELSY!! DDC SLIPS IN FORY WHO PLAYS AN EARLY CROSS INTO KELSY BACKPOST FOR A TAP IN! BEAUTIFUL PLAY! LET'S GO!!!
42' - 🟨 Yellow card for Kamal being upset at a SOFT foul.
3 minutes of stoppage time
48' - 🟨 Yellow card for Velde for a stupid foul.
##Halftime
Not a terrible half. Looked like a team giving effort. But with only a session or two of tactics, we are still feeling out who we are under Cifuentes. Hopefully the 2nd half goes better, but I imagine we make some big line changes to save legs now that this game means nothing but pride.
51' - Good shot from Velde that needs saving. Want to see more of that!
53' - Really good build up and creative offensive play. Caicedo ended it with a volley.
54' - Velde clocked in the face by #18 a CT shitstick. Then a fuckface defender pushes Velde's head as well as if he didn't get fucking smashed in the face. No cards, no fouls, just vibes from the ref. Total bullshit to not give a card or a foul for any of that. This ref and the VAR team can eat a bag of fucking dick.
57' - Fernandez & Antony ON 🔁 Bassett & Velde OFF
64' - ⚽️ GOAL ANTONY!!! GREAT BALL IN FROM LASSITER TO KELSY WHO HEADS IT ON FRAME TO FORCE A SAVE THEN HE PASSES IT ACROSS TO ANTONY WHO ARRIVES BACK POST FOR THE TAP-IN!! LET'S GO!!!
66' - Janssen & Ortiz ON 🔁 Kelsy & Da Costa OFF
68' - Antony in behind (I believe he was called offside eventually) but it created a BIG chance for Lassiter who smashes the keeper in the face. Pretty ridiculous that Antony was offside. He was able to look straight across the line with nobody around him and still managed to be off. No idea...
71' - First time I've ever seen the wave happen at Providence Park.
77' - ⚽️ GOAL LASSITER!! ORTIZ CUTS OUT A PASS, WHO PLAYS A GREAT BALL TO ANTONY WHO LAYS IT ACROSS TO LASSITER AND WE GET ANOTHER TAP-IN GOAL! LET'S DO THIS!!
81' - Jura ON 🔁 Fory OFF
84' - Muse comes WAY off his line and doesn't get there but Finn recovers and saves us!
85' - Ortiz with some lovely play to get out of a tight space!
3 minutes of stoppage
#Game over
Good start to the new era!
#We lose 3-1.
Our Cash Grab Cup is over. What a joke.
Great first half. Shit 2nd half. No offense in the 2nd at all. We were just pushed back so far that we couldn't support any balls going forward. Disappointing ending to a fantastic run of games for Jack Cassidy.
Let's hope Cifuentes can keep us rolling in the right direction!
#WE WON 5-2!!
Amazing game against not-so-great opposition. I feel like in the past, we would have played down to that team. But not under the King of Jack! We score 5 goals per game for fun!
So many good performances! Let the good times roll!
#WE WIN 5-2!!
Opted out of these games, so I'm watching at home tonight.
Kick off is at 7:30PM PST (per mlssoccer.com, so probably closer to 7:45 PM PST kick)
#Portland Timbers 5 - 2 Club Puebla
5' - ⚽️ GOAL LASSITER!! FIRST REAL SNIFF AND VELDE CRUSHES A SHOT WHICH IS DEFLECTED AND LASSITER FLICKS IT BEYOND THE KEEPER!!
14' - ⚽️ Goal for them. Bonetig was off because he was down for an injury and they didn't let him back in. They take advantage of lack of CB and score. Puebla has been the better side TBH.
26' - Velde picks off the ball high up. Clear cut chance. Should have buried it. BIG chance missed by our DP.
29' - How Surman gets beat there and STILL manages to maintain positioning to help win the ball back... incredible
35' - Finally some good midfield interplay ends in a corner.
36' - ⚽️ GOAAAAL BASSETT!! BASSETT WITH A CLASSY NEARPOST FLICK FROM VELDE'S CORNER AND IT NESTLES INTO THE FAR SIDE NETTING!
38' - ⚽️ GOAL DA COSTA!! SMITH DOES SOME WORK TO GET THE BALL IN THE BOX AND TO THE BYLINE. BALL LANDS AT DDC'S FEET AND HE MAKES SURE IT GOES IN!
3 minutes of stoppage
48' - A proper "Jack Cassidy" chant rings out!
48' - ⚽️ GOAL BASSETT!!! AMAZING RUN BY DDC! GREAT BALL THROUGH BY VELDE! THEN THE BALL ACROSS TO A WIDE OPEN BASSETT!
##HALFTIME
Well well well! Puebla seemed the better team by far in the first 20-30 minutes. Then we just fucking FINISHED OUR CHANCES! AMAZING!
Velde was class. DDC's assist was class. The Jack Cassidy chant was class. Bassett is on a brace and after he scores his third, we still won't have an MLS Regular Season hat-trick. So the ridiculous streak can continue!
Here we go!
50' - Velde should have buried that! Definitely deflected out for a corner and the ref missed it.
56' - ⚽️ GOAL LASSITER! DDC BEATS A GUY DOWN THE LINE, CUTS IT BACK AND LASSITER POUNCES!
58' - Jura & Fernandez ON 🔁 Lassiter & Velde OFF
70' - Another "Jack Cassidy" chant. Love it.
71' - Guerra & Eric Miller ON 🔁 Bye & Da Costa OFF
72' - Guerra with an immediate chance! Picks the ball of the defender and gets in behind. He doesn't get his shot away though. Little push in the back throws him off.
73' - 🧤 GOOD SAVE by Muse! He gets down quick after a flicked header comes in.
77' - Kelsy ON 🔁 Bassett OFF
80' - ⚽️ Goal them. Good shot from outside the 18.
81' - 🟨 Yellow card for a Pueblian
3 minutes of stoppage
92' - Great chance delivered by Jura and almost finished by Guerra. Would have loved to see a 6th goal!
#GAME OVER
JACK CASSIDY IS A CLUB LEGEND!
#WE WON 2-1!!!
Great win! Wasn't as cut and dry as the last time. But a substantially better 2nd half. Feels great!!! Tetris is for winners!!
At the game tonight! FINALLY! I'll try to update as I can. GUT THE FISH! LET'S FUCKING GO!!!
Kick off is at 7:45PM PST (per mlssoccer.com, so probably closer to 8 PM PST kick)
#Portland Timbers 2 - 1 Shittle Flounders
Got here just before the tifo raise! Phew!
Tifo was Hellraiser theme with a tearaway front. Incredible!
Let's go!!
8' - Fish down. Another injury for them. They had to sub early.
16' - First good chance falls to Kelsy who gets a decent head on it. Deflected. Out for a corner. Did that hit the post too?
25' - 🟨 Yellow card for Shittle #45. We need Velde on the ball more.
28' - ⚽ fuck. Ball pops out to a fuckface hanging out on the 18 and he hits it low and well enough to beat Pants. Fuck.
30' - 🟨 Yellow card for Kamal. Fucking dumb shit. He couldn't handle 1 dude with his back to goal.
33' - 🧤 couldn't clear the ball but Pants comes up with a MASSIVE save
34' - how are we playing THIS fucking bad? Just chance after chance for Shittle, being pinned in our half...
35' - All of our attacks come down our right side where their strongest player is and away from ours... Who drew this up?
37' - Lassiter completely fucks a REALLY good chance from a Fory cross. Sigh.
38' - ⚠️ Pants in a weird collision in his box. He needs to be okay.
40' - Pants is up and "shave your mustache" rings out from the army towards the Shittle keeper.
42' - ⚽ GOAL KELSY!! BALL COMES ACROSS, SHITHEADS FLICK IT ON TO KELSY WHO HITS A TAP IN!!
8 minutes stoppage
50' - 🟨 Yellow card to Kelsy for diving. Lol -- looked like there was contact, but not enough? Was it a clear dive on the broadcast?
53' - Mr Velde, please shoot.
54' - Scary defending at the end there but we didn't concede, thankfully.
##Halftime
What a weird half. We were so pinned back for a large portion of that half. When we attacked down Velde's side, they swarmed with numbers and they let Nouhou boss Lassiter and Bassett on the other side. Antony at 60/70 minutes will be a good sub.
Crossbar challenge is the new halftime show. I'm game. One chance to hit the bar from the top of the D and you get a car. They make you spin a wheel to see what car.
Let's do this!
49' - Chara has had a couple chances so far for a ridiculous shot and I wish he'd let it rip.
54' - Finn being Finn. Amazing defending.
55' - 2nd deep floated cross from Velde this half. I wish he would just run at the defender...
58' - Finally a clear shot this half and Bassett puts it in row Z.
63' - Feels like there is no clear plan when we possess and attack. We only counter attack.
64' - Meanwhile, as we defend, they comfortably are getting the ball on the outskirts of our 18.
65' - Antony ON 🔁 Lassiter OFF
66' - DDC with a decent turn and shoot. Hit the keeper hard, but at least we hit the target...
70' - love Antony's attitude. 2 defenders in front of him and he tries to take them both on. Throw for us in the end.
71' - 🟨 Yellow card for Shittle #90
73' - WTF is happening? They just all get water for no fucking reason?
76' - Some sustained pressure which ends with a Finn header back post. Getting closer. Can't wait for us to be better drilled going forward.
78' - Some 👏 one 👏 fucking 👏 shoot 👏
82' - ⚽ BYE SUNSHINE GOAL!!! LETS GO!!! ATTACK ROTATED TO BYE EVENTUALLY WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING SHOT AND HIT THE FAR CORNER!!!!
88' - Smith & Caicedo ON 🔁 Kelsy & Bassett OFF
5 minutes stoppage
91' - Smith putting some work in at the corner flag
94' - Fernandez ON 🔁 Velde OFF
#We win 2-1!
Unbelievable victory courtesy of Felipe Mora.
7 of possible 9 points in the Jack Cassidy era
Not at the stadium tonight. Sad one to miss. Pipe's last game. Glad he is getting the start. Hoping he gives us a hat-trick as a goodbye gift.
Kick off is at 7:42ish PM PST
We'll miss you Mora!
#Portland Timbers 2 - 1 RSL
7' - 🧤 Early save for Pants. Got down well to his near post
10' - 🟨 Yellow card for Bassett. Sloppy on the ball and he holds the RSL player. We've been pretty sloppy overall...
14' - 🧤 Solid save from Pants. Fory has been absent this whole game so far. Errant passes, not close enough defending... Not good enough
18' - ⚽️ A 1-2 destroys our right side. Then, of course, they tuck it home.
23' - Velde is an absolute beast. 1v3 and he draws a foul as the 4th guy arrives. Incredible skill.
26' - Velde with a decent chance, but he hits it wide near-post
29' - Velde drawing fouls left and right. Fory with a header chance that is SO WIDE. Unbelievably bad attempt from Fory. Please do better.
30' - Velde shields the ball, cruyf turns another and shoots near post again and misses wide again.
31' - 🟨 Yellow for #9 RSL - kicks Fory in the mouth. That is a fucking red IMO. He puts his boot directly into the face of Jimmer.
33' - ⚠️ Ref goes to look at it. How he doesn't see that live... No idea.
34' - 🟥 Upgraded red card for #9 RSL. Good.
39' - Mora's best chance so far was blocked. We need to score ASAP
41' - 🟨 Yellow card for Chara. Soft.
6 minutes of stoppage
46' - Velde smashes the ball in, but the flag is up immediately.
##Halftime
These fuckers are gonna sit back in a 5-3-1 for the rest of the game. We need to score. One of our next 10 corners has to hit the back of their net. Velde was the guy that last half, but hopefully he choses to shoot far post one time... I'm still hopeful for a Mora send-off goal or 3
52' - Bassett hits the post from about 20 yards out and it trickles across the goal mouth but doesn't go in. FUCK! We need to fucking score!
54' - Finn bails us out again.
55' - 🟨 Yellow card for #22 RSL. Bassett dribbles as slow as possible on a break, but draws the yellow.
56' - ⚽️ MORAAAAA!!!!! HE BAILS US OUT AGAIN!!!! FROM A CORNER THIS TIME!!! LET'S GOOOO!!
57' - Antony ON 🔁 Lassiter OFF
65' - Announcers said that was our 2nd goal from a corner this season. That is terrible. Also, Finn + Chara = Ultimate Defense
67' - ⚽️ MORAAAAAAAAAA BRACE!!! VAMOS!!!! ANOTHER HEADER FROM THE CORNER!! 🎩 HAT TRICK WATCH IS ON!!
72' - Caicedo & Aravena ON 🔁 Chara & Mora OFF
Like any good Timbers coach, we pull the man on a hat-trick off almost immediately.
86' - Ortiz ON 🔁 Bassett OFF
88' - Aravena with a good hit, but just misses wide.
89' - Velde with another chance. Goes far post this time. Good save from the keeper. Velde is SO CLOSE to being the best player.
90' - This was Mora's hatty chance. Caicedo heads the ball from the corner to the back post and Aravena can't adjust his body and head it up and wide... Mora would have buried it and the TA would have FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT
5 minutes of stoppage
91' - ⚠️ Ball in our net. But the flag is up immediately. Looked onside TBH.
93' - Velde is such a beast. More control in the corner. Good interplay with Fory but Velde is just so skilled.
95' - FINALLY! Our team makes a good decision
#Game Over
I hate flashing the lights at the end of games.
But I love MORA! Winning us one more game is such a lovely gift! Sad to see him leave. I hope he is happy and playing in Mexico. This is how you leave a club.
Not at the game tonight and I'll be missing the first 15-30 minutes helping my little one to bed, but I'm ready to continue our post-Neville unbeaten run!
Kick off is at 7:42ish PM PST
#Portland Timbers 2 - 2 FC Dallas
20' - 🧤 Fingertip save near post by Pants! He pushed the shot onto the post. Phew!
34' - Amazing chance for Kelsy and he slips at the worst minute. Easy goal if he makes contact.
37' - 🟨 Yellow card for Miller. Dude fouled Antony 3 times and he gets a warning. Kamal goes into the book after 1. OK bud.
39' - Pants comes WAAAAY off his line and saves us, but dude was offside anyways.
2 minutes of stoppage
45+1' - ⚽️ They get one chance and the bury it. Fucking hell. Right on top of the D. Nobody closes him down and we concede. Fuck fuck fuck.
##Halftime
God fucking damn it. Kelsy needs to bury that fucking chance. So ridiculous. Dallas just sits back, absorbs pressure, counters and finishes their chance. They had a couple good looks. We had 1.
Let's hope we do something next half... Hopefully Velde comes off the bench and lights it up!
47' - Good chance right away. Smart ball from Antony to Bassett but he hits it high and wide.
55' - Chara & Velde ON 🔁 Caicedo & Lassiter OFF
59' - The dude who fouled Antony 3+ times in the first half finally gets a yellow card for ANOTHER foul.
63' - Velde with a HARD SHOT against the post. Then Kelsy crushes it as well and it hits the post. GK just sits on the ground and pretends like he is hurt for a while. Time wasting bastard.
67' - ⚽️ GOAL KELSY!!! SOME SCRAPPY SHIT GETS THE BALL TO HIT THE POST AND KELSY TAPS IT IN!
68' - Ball is in our net, but they were offside.
70' - Velde smashes a shot but a made for TV save by their keeper. The follow-up by Antony hits the side netting. WE NEED A SECOND!!
78' - Good freekick location. Da Costa is fouled about 25 yards out. Please please please
79' - DDC hits the wall and it falls kindly to Kelsy who tries to slip it over the keeper and hits the post AGAIN! GAAAH!
81' - Aravena & Mora ON 🔁 Bassett & Kelsy OFF (Kelsy came off limping after a collision with the keeper)
83' - Another dangerous FK location but for Dallas now...
88' - ⚽️ FUCKING DAMN IT. A forward gets 1v1 with Kamal and they slot it into the corner again. 2 absolutely clinical finishes from Dallas fucking hot garbage from the Timbers. Looks like we are chasing a tie now... God damn it.
89' - 🟨 Yellow card for Bye
9 minutes of stoppage
92' - ⚽️ MORAAAAA!!! VELDE SHOWS HIS QUALITY AND GETS BEYOND HIS MAN. HE PLAYS THE PERFECT BALL TO MORA WHO SLOTS IT!! LET'S FUCKING GO!!!
94' - 🟨 Yellow card for the legend. Diego Chara.
97' - 🟨 Yellow card for one of their dorks.
99' - Fory plays a shitty pass to switch the play and it goes out. Ref gives us shit for extra extra time even though we scored in stoppage. Classic
#Game over
Point rescued, but feels like we should have got more
First game back from the World Cup break and the first game in the post-Neville era. Let's fucking do this!
Kick off is at 7:39 PM PST (probably) or not... when does this game fucking start? 7:50? Ended up being 7:46 PM. lol
#Portland Timbers 5 - 1 Shittle Flounders
1' - TERRIBLE header clearance by Kamal. Free shot from 19 yard out for Sounders. Blocked by Finn.
5' - Jeeeeesus. Our midfield is just carved open by 2 passes and they are in 6v4. Ball ends up in our net, but dude is offside by a mile.
11' - Good chance in behind for Kelsy. He just doesn't get the connection he needed on the slipped ball but a good chance nonetheless.
19' - ⚽️ KELSY WITH A WONDERFUL HEADER! GOAL TIMBER!!! LET'S FUCKING GOOOO! FANTASTIC RUN FORWARD WITH A GREAT BALL FROM FORY!
24' - Antony with a good hit. Slight deflection. Good save in the end.
29' - 🧤 Great save by Pants AND Kamal! Felt like a surefire goal snuffed out by Pants and the following shot is saved by Miller's header out!
33' - The announcer says something like "the sounders fans were loud for a song or two, but all the noise is now coming from the Timbers Army." lol
35' - Fantastic block by Fory.
38' - Antony running alongside 1 defender but otherwise in on goal. Decides to try to cut back and gets his pocket picked. I wish he just put his head down, took 1 more touch and smashed it. Oh well. Good potential chance.
41' - 🟨 Yellow Card for Flounders CB #25
43' - Lassiter SMASHES the post from the ensuing freekick. Antony has a clear chance afterwards, but it comes at him waaay too hot and he hits it high and wide.
2 minutes of stoppage
##Halftime
Really good first half. 1-0? Can't really complain. Feels like a game that could get away from us though. We need to stay disciplined and finish our next big chance.
48' - Really goood chance for Antony, but he can't bend it into the back post well enough. Ends up hitting the keeper's hands comfortably.
49' - 🟨 HARD yellow card for Shittle fuck #14. I wouldn't call that a red, but damn, it was close.
50' - Ref asks Fory to hurry up with his throw in as he throws it in... I'll take Things That Don't Fucking Matter for 100.
51' - Good ball from Bassett to Kelsy, but he can't get his head to it.
53' - Lassiter working back and cutting the clear-cut chance to the fuckhead who just got the yellow from Sounders. VERY good intervention.
56' - ⚽️ GOAL KAMAL MILLER!!! LET'S FUCKING GOOOO! DDC PUTS A LOFTED BALL BACKPOST INSTEAD OF SHOOTING IT. BYE HEADS IT SOFTLY TOWARDS GOAL AND KAMAL POUNCES AND PUTS IT BY THE BLONDE MUSTACHED GOALKEEPER! HELL FUCKING YES!
60' - ⚽️ GOAL BASSETT!!!!! DDC IS 1V1 AGAINST A DEFENDER. DECIDES TO CUT BACK BUT FINDS BASSETT FAR POST WHO HITS A SHOT THAT DEFLECTS IN! LET'S FUCKING GO!!!
62' - Seattle only conceded 11 goals until we fucking showed up!! "People are heading for the exits at Lumen field." Hahahaha
63' - ⚽️ KELSY WITH ANOTHER!!! ANTONY AND DDC WITH A LOVELY 1-2. ANTONY DRIVES DOWN AND INSIDE THE 18, PUTS THE BALL ACROSS AND IT LANDS TO KELSY WHO MAKES SURE IT GOES IN!!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!! (ALSO, WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON HAT-TRICK WATCH!)
68' - Antony with a decent chance from distance, but he rushes it and hit is high and wide.
71' - 🧤 Decent save by Pants.
72' - Caicedo & Aravena ON 🔁 Lassiter & Bassett OFF
74' - Kelsy gets a good chance that he flubs. He lays it off and Caicedo misses the shot.
78' - Brilliant save by Pants. He got down QUICK and swatted away from danger.
80' - 🧤 Another good save for Pants. This time from a free kick.
80' - PK awarded for Seattle. I didn't see any contact in the replay...
81' - ⚠️ VAR looking at it. They showed it in slowmo. NO FUCKING CONTACT AT ALL.
82' - ⚠️ Ref at the monitor. I am struggling to see ANY touch whatsoever.
83' - ⚠️ Review says the foul was outside the penalty area. HOW WAS THAT A FOUL! I finally saw a SLIGHT bump from Antony's thigh to the diving whale's thigh...
85' - We counter HARD but it just barely doesn't come off.
86' - 🧤 And another one. Good positioning by Pants and he makes the save.
87' - Mora & Ortiz ON 🔁 Kelsy & Chara OFF (Hat-trick watch is over)
87' - ⚽️ Fuck. They scored. Really good header from a corner. Dude is just completely free. Not picked up at all.
91' - Smith ON 🔁 Antony OFF
10 minutes of stoppage
93' - Smith needs to realize he is a fresh player.
98' - DDC DOES ALL THE WORK DRIVING INTO THE 18, BEATING HIS DEFENDER, PASSING IT TO ARAVENA AND HE HAS THE TIME TO TAKE A TOUCH AND THEN SLOT IT HOME
99' - TA HEARD CLEARLY SHOUTING "WE WANT 6! WE WANT 6! WE WANT 6!"
#GAME OVER
HOLY SHIT!! OH WHAT A NIGHT!
#We lose 1-3.
If Neville isn't out now. Ned needs to be fired without question. If Ned isn't fired, Paulson hates his fan base and is purposefully tanking the team.