u/Separate-Hovercraft4

Hey everyone!

I’m looking for practical feedback on the first chapter of my YA fantasy novel. Trying to improve.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-kj0MM20ufJropVuT3TtsYuBoZ5eAi-gaZkTaaxuA20/edit?usp=drivesdk

Premise: Two orphaned twins survive as thieves until a final heist awakens magic they never believed they’d possess, sending their lives in a completely different direction. Thrust into a world of competing prophecies, eccentric mentors, and allies who may become enemies (or vice versa), they’re forced to decide who—and what—they can trust.

Chapter 1 follows the twins as they prepare for what they hope will be their last theft before leaving their life of crime behind. I’m especially interested in whether it establishes the characters well, builds intrigue, and leaves you wanting to see what happens when everything goes wrong.

The ask: I’m mainly looking for feedback on engagement, but I will gladly take any feedback you kind people choose to give. At any point did you feel like putting it down? If so, where and why? I’m less concerned with grammar than whether the chapter makes you want to keep reading.

Thanks!