Convince me not to quit (or don’t)
I am a young female professional (28F), working with a UN Agency in a country/field office. I am also from a country in crisis, I actually started as a national staff and was lucky enough to land an international position (not a P position). I’ve worked on a very difficult context for the past three years (although i’m actually based in a family duty station). The most draining thing wasn’t the context, it’s actually the fact that the quality of people in charge has just gone down over the years. I’m sorry if this is coming off as ageist but we are employing people who don’t understand the world we live in and probably won’t be around in the next 25 years as directors and high level/strategic positions. Our latest director is an old guy who was meant to retire but instead was placed in our office. He is obviously not an innovative thinker (i’m not sure he’s a critical thinker either) and he’s a tad (very) sexist.
I’m exhausted, i’m doing the work of 2-3 people at times at a level that’s way beyond my pay grade, i’m seeing directors come in and cut people’s jobs in the name of efficiency and cost savings but then bring their own connections and people in at super high level and salaries. my direct manager who i liked when i first started is becoming more and more of a problem, passing my work as his and overall just not managing our unit.
We have a UNV in our team who is sponsored by his home country but can’t do anything on his own (and makes the Black woman do all the work), which frustrates me because i do the work but my financing isn’t guaranteed whereas he plays dumb all day and is well funded.
I am at this point where every time i see someone leaving the system i’m a bit jealous. i want to quit and tonight i’m drafting my resignation letter but i’m also aware that what awaits me at home are the same work environment with lower pay, conflict, potential of being harmed and hurt physically, there’s a lot of sexual violence as well and it’s not an all around great place to be in right now.
I don’t know what to do, I want to convince myself that i’m just burnt out but the truth is even when I was burnt out in the past, when there was better management I still gave more of myself to the organisation and to the cause. Now? Mentally i’ve already resigned and I am doing the VERY bare minimum and sticking to my job description, doing no more, no less.
I also don’t have a social life bc I was operating at the intensity of a P4 at the age of 25-26 so… i hate my job, i hate the sector, i need a man and i miss being around young, motivated and inspiring people. Should i resign and just spend the next year by the beach?