He’s running out of money and fast
I need some outside perspective on one of my best friends because I’m trying to figure out where the line is between “being a supportive lifelong friend” and “becoming a court-appointed financial guardian.”
For context, we’ve known each other literally our entire lives. We grew up next door to each other, spent every birthday together, and our parents have first-day-of-school photos of us standing side by side from kindergarten through college. He’s basically family.
The confusing part is that he’s one of the smartest, most creative, and genuinely kind people I’ve ever met. He’s the type of guy who can walk into a room full of strangers and leave with six new friends, an invitation to a cookout, and somehow end up helping someone move a couch next weekend.
And yet, when it comes to money and life decisions, it’s like watching a NASA engineer attempt to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. He’s told me how much he’s spending on the wedding and the bachelor party all while the math isn’t working out. Credit card debt and rent payments aren’t helping.
He consistently works jobs that consume every waking hour of his life. Right now, he’s working nonstop to pay for a wedding next year because his fiancée has a very specific vision for what their special day should look like. And as we all know, “you only do it once,” which I believe is also the official slogan of the wedding industry.
When he does get free time, he usually spends it drinking with friends who, with all due respect, appear to be conducting a long-term social experiment on the effects of poor financial decision-making.
Now, I’m trying very hard not to project my own beliefs onto him. Personally, I’ve always subscribed to the radical philosophy of “don’t spend money you don’t have,” largely because I enjoy sleeping through the night and not having my banking app induce cardiac symptoms.
The thing is, I genuinely care about this guy. He’s one of a kind. I want to support him in the way he needs support, not the way I think he should need support.
So, where is my role here as a friend? Do I say something? Do I just listen? Do I quietly stand by with a calculator, a therapist’s business card, and a fire extinguisher?
Anyway, while reading your responses, I’ll be enjoying some Whole Foods salmon nuggets paired with a gluten-free yellow mustard because apparently I’ve become the type of adult who says things like “these pair surprisingly well together” while worrying about another grown man’s financial future.
Appreciate any thoughts.