u/Separate_Emotion_965

Hello, Im 27(M) with audhd. I have resistant depression, ocd/social anxiety and introvert. My psychiatrist said I have severe inattentiveness (which I agree). I was on vyvanse before which worked amazing in the beginning but the crash would worsen my depression and anxiety so much that *i start having suicidal thoughts* (this was the scariest phase of my life ever). Then i tried concerta but it would make me look at the wall for hours and thoughtless, my wife would be screaming in the background and I would look at her like 😵‍💫. She said i look ‘high’. I am now on ritalin 10mg. I can focus but I feel dumber. I struggle comprehending sentences, books, instructions or subtitles. Whereas vyvanse made me hyperfocus and smarter. I can understand complex stories and follow intricate instructions with great detail (basically the movie limitless). I’m yearning for this feeling and function but I dont want to have suicidal thoughts again. I doubled my ritalin dose to 20mg but it only doubled my dumbness. I’m just loss at this point.
I also live in australia so Adderall or focalin arent available. Anyone have any suggestions or recommendations on what to do? Any help is appreciated.

Fyi: im aware of the protein, vit c, magnesium, nac, etc stuff.

I feel like I’ve been spending too much money on cozy games lately. I just spent around $300 on games this week, and the hard part is that I genuinely love all of them.

Part of me believes that investing in things that help my mental health is worth it..especially after stressful days. So in that sense, I don’t regret buying them.
But at the same time, I’m starting to feel guilty and worried that I might be spending too much eeeeek!🥲. It’s this weird mix of “this makes me happy and helps me cope” but also “maybe I need to slow down.”
Is anyone else going through the same thing? Do you ever feel guilty after buying games, even when you actually enjoy them and know they help your mental health?