u/SepehrJC

While listening to a Dhamma talk by Hillside Hermitage, at the end of the talk it was said that one of the best ways to start working on restoring sensory restraint is to admit it publicly or to people you know.

I have already told people I know in real life, so now I’ll say it on this subreddit.

I’m a compulsive eater. I have spent thousands of dollars on food and hundreds of hours dieting. Every day is a struggle not to eat compulsively. Although I have been getting better, a big part of that is due to the Dhamma, as well as removing my access to money and allocating all my finances to someone I trust. Nonetheless, it has improved.

I am very grateful that I have never tried and never will try alcohol or any other substance.

I am also very grateful that I have what is, in comparison to what many other people suffer from every day, a relatively fortunate problem.

I hope everyone else struggling with compulsions also gets better and finds a way out of them.

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I understand from dependent origination that craving arises from ignorance, and that ignorance is a misconception of reality (the Four Noble Truths).

But if ignorance prevents us from seeing reality clearly:

- What allows us to recognize that we’re ignorant in the first place?

- What makes us ignorant to begin with?

- How did this sense of “self” develop as we grew up?

- Is there an underlying awareness/knowing beneath all of this, and how can we experience it directly?

- another wierd question: How do we actually experience our senses? And how do we make our hands move?

Hi! I hope you don't mind me posting here.

I've been struggling quite a bit with my path. Over the past while, I've removed many of the things from my life that I realized were rooted in craving or distraction. But now I feel like I've been left without any real direction.

I still have goals like working out and studying, and I know I'd genuinely enjoy doing those things. But the end goals don't really appeal to me anymore. I don't see much appeal in becoming a doctor anymore. I don't see much appeal in working out for my own sake either—the main reason I still do it is because I want to stay healthy.

Lately I've also had a hard time concentrating. I feel confused about the path because even small challenges seem to pull me back into desire, aversion, and delusion. I become restless very easily. I try to set goals for myself, but I can't seem to stick to them.

One thing I keep struggling with is this: if Nirvana is, in a simplified sense, freedom from attachment and the ending of craving, then what is the point of life? Why do anything at all? Couldn't I just stay in my room, be peaceful, and let life pass by?

I have a feeling there are parts of the teachings that I'm misunderstanding or that already have the answers to my questions. In particular:

Skillful desire

If we're meant to let go of craving, how do you relate to goals, ambition, and motivation without falling into attachment?

How do I still function?

I still want to be the best in my studies and my part-time job, but is that wrong? Is that a desire that I should let go because it's rooted in wanting praise?

The idea that "I'm giving my 110%; I'm doing more so in the future I have less work" is the only reason I study anymore.

Gratitude for life

I feel incredibly fortunate to be alive and able to experience existence.

At the same time, Buddhism points toward liberation from suffering rather than toward death. That distinction makes sense to me intellectually, but I don't feel like I understand it deeply.

I want Nirvana because it promises not being attached to life while still being alive, but at the same time reaching Nirvana (I think) means leaving behind life.

I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts if you're willing to share.

Sorry if my questions are kinda weird too.

I've noticed something about how my mind works and I'm wondering if there's a name for it.

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When I think about a specific topic, I don't just think about facts related to it. The topic seems to come with a whole "atmosphere" or mental state.

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For example, when I think about multiplayer games like CS:GO, I immediately get a certain feeling: high energy, competition, excitement, teamwork, voice chat, fast reactions, etc. It also automatically brings related games like Rainbow Six Siege and Fortnite to mind.

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When I think about Buddhism, I get a completely different atmosphere. It feels yellow, communal, contemplative, related to India, meditation, and the mind. It's not just visual imagery—it's like the entire concept has a distinct emotional, sensory, and cognitive tone.

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Other examples:

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- Multiplayer games = energetic, social, competitive feeling.

- Horror games = lower-energy, tense, isolated, uneasy feeling.

- Different subjects and ideas seem to have their own unique "vibes" or mental textures.

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These associations feel partly like memories, but also partly like sensory impressions or embodied feelings.

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Is there a psychological or neuroscience term for this? Is it just associative memory and semantic networks, or is it something closer to ideasthesia/synesthesia? Do other people experience concepts as having distinct atmospheres, colors, energy levels, or feelings?

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Thamk you

I've been practicing Buddhsim for a while now, and my biggest struggles are with the physical sensations of vedanā and knowing when it's appropriate to use music as a break. for attention control, or should it only be used to block out distracting noises (similar to white noise or pink noise)?

Another thing I'm struggling with is that the physical sensation of craving and aversion feels extremely amplified for me. Even relatively minor cravings—for food, games, or porn—can feel overwhelming. I can usually avoid acting on them, and I can often observe them without grasping, but they arise so frequently throughout the day that it becomes exhausting to keep up with them.

It's not just obvious cravings, either. Even when I'm doing things I genuinely enjoy or find beneficial—like learning new things, researching, organizing plans, or exploring ideas—I can feel the craving and anticipation for the next thing. It's like I'm already reaching for the next topic, the next tab to open, or the next piece of information before I've fully engaged with what's in front of me.

Because of this, it's very hard to slow down. There often seems to be a constant feeling of wanting to move on to the next object of attention, even when the current one is interesting and satisfying.

Because of all this, I've been considering stronger sensory restraint—not as a way to escape the experience, but simply because the intensity feels overwhelming.

I'm also fairly sure I have ADHD, and I'm wondering whether that might be contributing to the intensity and frequency of these experiences.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you work with it?