u/Sergal-gurl92

Again, I'm really sorry to sound so pathetic lately, but I'm reaching my limit of bottling up my feelings. I'm young and mentally ill so even the smallest things when bottled up make me explode. I'm taking a small break with talking with the deities because I either have no time or I just can't because of my strict christian household. I had enough of people humiliating me and treating me like shit at school. I won't go into details since it's a long story, but I decided to cut out my ex friends because they hurt me real bad and now they're doing anything to hurt me. They spread false rumors about me and the whole class is against me. I'm getting attacked spiritually and the bruises are getting worse, I don't hit furnitures or anything. I don't want protection at this point, I want justice. I know revenge is a fools' game, but I'm really at my limit. No one respects me and no one listens to my cries or help, not even in my family, not even in therapy. I want justice, I want karma to give them what they did to me 10 times worse.

I'm sorry if I always act like a victim or whine around. But in the last months I'm feeling tormented. Everything is going real badly. Days ago I woke up and I found a clear bite mark bruised,( I have no pets) my spells won't work and I feel like I'm not a witch anymore, tarot readings are comfisung amd I don't even know anymore if the gods listen to me when I talk to them. I wrote a letter to one of them Yesterday maybe I have to be patient. My energy feels off, even with animals that I've always been connected with, today I got bit by a horse (an animal I feel deep connection after birds) amd a donkey, got bruised really badly and this never happened, so it ruined my day. These animals are not mine but of someone else and gotta say their place was super small, maybe they were trying to tell me they're in pain.. idk.

While it all may sound silly I have to say I suffer from grave depression and paranoid disorder, I always think everyone hates me and always plotting somenthing against me. All these bottled up stuff make me so angry and frustrated, am I a bad person? What am I doing wrong? What should I do to get a sign or answer from the deities or do the right thing for them? My assumption is someone either cursed me or I'm surrounded by energy vampires, because I've never felt like this in a while and it's draining, my cleansing and protection spells are not working, even my evil eye talysman aren't effective. I'm sorry, I had to get this weight off of my shoulders, if anyone has some advice I really appreciate it.