I know my art doesn't have to be perfect (if perfection even exist) I just lack the confidence to pursue an art career. Based on my skills there's very little chance.
The only thing I fear is having to do anything that involves genitals. Vaginal sex/anal sex maybe even getting a blowjob.
I mean it's kind of unavoidable during sex. Of course I wan't to give women pleasure and it won't happen if I'm just keep kissing other body parts or massage their backs.
Sure, some foreplay helps but anything other than that feels risky or unkown territory for me.
I keep thinking: "Why would she ever give me a blowjob? Why would she want to look at my body? Why would she want my penis inside her body?"
God, just writing about this stuff makes me uneasy. I don't even watch porn.