(Vent) Partner dumped me bc they liked their other partner better.
I(25F) had never been in a poly relationship but I met someone (22F) online who i really liked and decided to give it a try. They already had a partner(37F) who they had been seeing for about 4 months. From the beginning they told me they were “non-hierarchical” (which like? is that even real) and anytime i brought up how i felt deprioritized they would accuse me of hating their other partner (which isn’t true i honestly really liked her.)
Anyways a few days ago (thursday) her partner asked me if we could switch days because she was having a really bad day and wanted more support. normally I would 100% say yes but it didn’t work for me and my response was very nice, in my opinion, I asked if she still wanted to hang out w us or if there was anything i could do (she did not reply back).
That day my (ex) partner was talking about how worried she was so i told her she should go to her partner and i kept checking in asking if her partner was okay but she didn’t do anything.
The next day (Friday) My partner ignored me all day and didnt respond to me until saturday in which i asked if I had done something wrong and she said she didn’t want to talk about it. I said i thought it was unfair or her to ignore me and not even tell me if i had done something wrong (i didn’t ask to have a full conversation I just wanted some like clarity or reassurance) anyways I definitely texted her way to much but i was panicking a little bc i had no idea what i’d done? and she told me i was breaking her boundaries. Finally she told me it was bc i lied to her (by omission) for not telling me her partner reached out to me for help (i didn’t intentionally not telling her i just didn’t think about it?) and the thing is her partner wasn’t even mad I said no? (and even if she was like it was between me and her it wasn’t rlly my partners business? in my opinion at least) She only offhandedly mentioned it to my partner and my partner freaked out on me. Anyways i don’t think i’ve ever been treated with less empathy and understanding in my entire life. Is this what all poly relationships are like? that’s actually insane to me.