I kind of feel like I have checked out of my marriage
This is more of a vent session because I have no one to tell all of this to.
I (56F) have been with my husband (61M) for 35 years. 2 grown kids and 4 grandchildren. We have always been very close as a family. He is Hispanic, I grew up in MO. So lots of cultural differences in all aspects of our relationship.
We have always had our own business so I was always able to stay home and take care of kids and the house. I have always been and am still very active in our business. I am just at a point that I want to start living for me and enjoying things that make me happy. Maybe that is selfish but I feel like after raising my kids, mostly by myself because my husband was/is a workaholic that I need to focus on me now.
I have been on a weightloss journey and have lost nearly 75 pounds in last year. I had some major dental work done and am working on myself physically, as feel like I was more worried about everyone else for all those years.
My libido has increased the last year also and he is going down and he will not address the issues with that, he just ignores it. Right now we are on a 3 month dry spell as he is just not interested or so it seems. For nearly 2 months he does not get under the blankets he lays on top and covers up with “his blanket”. I try dressing sexier for him, wear lingerie and nothing gets his attention. I am at the point that everything he does aggravates me, From how he dresses to how he chews. We never go to dinner or anywhere just us. If it doesn’t involve our kids and grandkids going he won’t go. He hates vacations and going places. Again it always has to involve our kids or it’s a no go.
I am just irritated at my marriage at this point. It would devastate my children if I left him at this point in our lives. Thank you of you have read this far. Just needed to tell someone how I feel as I have no one I can tell my feelings to.
Not sure if I’m looking for advice or comfort but just needed to spill it. Again thanks for listening.