u/Sfexanoooo

I need help with talking to this girl.

I've tried texting a couple girls on Insta and this one taxted me back, I asked her if she wanted to get to know eachother and she said that she was being busy with exams and doesn't have time for meeting someone, I responded with a joke like "don't worry I won't be the subject of the exam" and that she can respond whenever she wants, she laughed and agreed to continue talking. We were talking for a couple days, It has been really hard to find something to talk about, she responds sometimes after 10 minutes sometimes after 1/2 hours. She never starts a subject

(It's starting to look sad as I write it actually)

I don't know what I'm doing right but we are actually talking, she responds and she doesn't responds with "ok" and stuff like that, despite being terrible at keeping the conversation going

I'm willing to try some subjects, something that can make her more fond of me, I just need to keep this for maybe a month when she doesn't have exams anymore and maybe I can gather the courage to ask her out, She lives far but not THAT far

M19 I need help with dating, I hate it, and I could write so much about how much I hate it.

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I was redpilled once, I will never confess this publicly to anyone, I'll get so much deserved hate.

Then someday, I met this girl, she was a friend of my friend and she showed me a level of kindness that no guy ever gave to me.

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I remember this day, we went to bowling with some friends and I remember it was very cold outside and, holy shit, she hugged me, it was a side hug so it was useless to warm me up but just the pumping of my heart made my body temperature skyrocket, it lasted a couple seconds and then she broke it, she did it without thinking and made my mind explode.

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With this I want to tell that I am not ready to talk to girls yet, both for the awkwardness of approaching someone and the fact that I don't think I'm what they are looking for, I'm pretty much a terrible human being.

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I have a bold sense of humor that goes crazy with guys but becomes useless for girls, wich they look at me in the most serious judging expression and makes me look like a monster.

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Throughout my incel journey I've tried improving my looks, I made huge progress actually I cannot belive what I did in less then a year

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But now, do girls will like me or my looks?

I was approched by two girls the same day telling me I looked good and asked for my social account (both minors so... No)

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And that made me think, do this girls would have liked how the old me looked? Does the old me not deserve love?

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I'm willing to try some other mindsets and different way to think about It, as well as some advice into talking to someone without melting in embarassment