u/ShadowedVoid

Bit of a newer player here, and there are certain IDs I want to get because I like the way they look.

But I both don't know how to get some of them (because they're not in the dispenser) or how I am supposed to get the ones that *are* in the dispenser (because shards are so hard to get due to having to EX clear 30+ missions just for a single 10 pull). And the 1-3 per shard crate isn't helping because it's two crates per five pass levels, usually, not to mention half of them are random.

(This post was removed from r/limbuscompany by the mods there because "sMaLl DiScUsSiOnS gO iN mOnThLy MeGaThReAd.", like megathreads aren't the most useless parts of any subreddit.)

Right onto the chase, I was talking with a friend about DID (she has it) a month or so ago (maybe more), and at one point I mentioned how I can't even hear my own voice in my head, so she suggested I maybe have aphantasia. In addition to the already there AuDHD (both halves are diagnosed).

It seems to check out: can't hear my own thoughts, can't really visualize, ect. But I also sort of can? Kinda?

I have to like, actively think about thinking about something to have an internal monologue, and it still dead quiet. It's like knowing what a character in a movie will say ahead of time, but in real time and with myself.

For visualization, it's similar, but instead of seeing something that isn't actually there, I... see a different form of nothing, if that makes sense? I know the thing is "there", but I can't see it. I can also remember things visually, but it's still knowing instead of seeing. I can construct whole scenes of information, even, but I struggle to hold them because I can't see them, I can only know them. Same with smells, tastes, sounds and touches.

Edit: Another way to describe it is like having something with 0% opacity in a photoshopped image. It's there, but you can't see it.

I do get involuntary thoughts as well, but it's still the information of the scene vaguely halucinating a retelling of the sight, not the picture itself.

It's confusing to talk about, and it's also so frustrating. I like games where you can build things, but I can't do anything without a plan, and said plans have to be essentially blueprints to follow. And I can't visualize them. I either have to copy preexisting things or draw (which I suck at, likely due to not being able to visualize) them myself. Knowing the picture isn't enough, I need to see a proper reference.

Anyway, that's my "dO i HaVe It?????" thing. Hope that posting this won't annoy anyone.