Crack: Hey man about thaaaaat... heh heh, don't get mad, but you aren't the number one globally like, globally globally
When Endeavor reached the rank of Number 1 Hero, he imagined himself appearing on TV on a global scale... but he ended up being hugely disappointed.
It turns out that Endeavor isn't actually Japan's Number 1 Hero—at least not in the way you think. I mean, sure, he IS Number 1, but only for Shizuoka Prefecture.
Basically, there’s a Number 1 hero for each prefecture, alongside the title of "Symbol." Why? Because of global anti-monopoly laws for heroes; these laws prevent a single Number 1 from representing an entire nation, so there are multiple Number 1s. It’s also a great way to foster competition.
"Congrats, buddy!" shouts the hero Galactar Nova the hero of Tottori Prefecture, the "countryside hero," so to speak. He’s a good guy; in fact, alongside All Might, he maintains a 100% approval rating... though All Might is stuck at 99.99% because some guy on the internet named "NotAllForOne69" keeps disliking his posts.
Nova can fly and fire energy blasts.
"Hey, congrats too!" says Sherpa a hero from Aichi Prefecture whose heavy-machinery Quirk makes him basically THE BEST BUILDER—as he walks in carrying a cake.
Meanwhile, Endeavor is locked in the bathroom, sobbing because he thought he was going to be Global Number One... when in reality, the global system has worked this way for years.
And you know the worst part?
All Might TOLD HIM IN ADVANCE... Endeavor just didn't want to read a fucking email.
"Hey, what's up, Endeavor? Congratulations," says the hero known as Sanbo. He is Hokkaido's number one hero; his plant-based Quirk makes him the best park ranger around. He wears a cape made of leaves and wields a giant dowsing rod as a weapon—it allows him to redirect groundwater and use it to create water traps... He's not a hippie.
[EMAIL MESSAGE]
AllMightSmashSmashingProfessionalBusiness@hotmail.com (All Might made this Mail when he was a teenager he dosent want to pay 80 USDS to change it)
SUBJECT:
"Regarding the ranking."
Sent: 2 MONTHS AGO.
Status: Unread.
(Yeah. Endeavor DOESN'T KNOW how to use email.)
In fact, there is a global consensus on the anti-monopoly law; it’s a way to prevent monopolies and imbalances in less populated areas, avoiding the concentration of all heroism in a single country or a single figure—plus, it ensures the existence of more hero agencies.
Even All Might appeared in a photo regarding that law.
So, how did Endeavor not hear about it?
Do you have any idea how much time he spent training and traumatizing his own children? Anyone would forget.
Natsuo spends his time laughing at his father... all that pain, all that psychological torture, all of it... just so he could... be the damn number one hero of a single prefecture.
Dabi had it worse... I mean, he found out that... everything he suffered... was all for nothing. I mean, sure, he could take revenge on his father, but... well, he is the number one, but only of a single prefecture... He retired from being a villain and is currently married to an office worker, with four kids.
The worst part of all is that Galactar Nova, Sherpa, and Sanbo have INCREDIBLE origins: one is literally a space cop (Galactar), another is a laborer ROBOT built in the Soviet Union ages ago—though rebuilt and reprogrammed and the third is THE CHOSEN ONE OF THE GOD OF NATURE... yet none of them are arrogant; they’re just good people.
The worst part is that... EVERY COUNTRY has this law in effect; Star and Stripe, for example, is the number one pro hero, but only for New York.
Then there’s Nexium, a hero who is LITERALLY AN ALIEN wearing a silver-toned spacesuit with gray accents. His body is predominantly silver with dark gray sections except for his head, which looks human, featuring silver hair and yellow eyes.
"Oh, congratulations. I’m Kansai’s number one hero." Nexium smiles at Enji. Although Nexium can fly, fire energy blasts, and—well, possesses MANY OTHER ABILITIES he is, alongside Hawks, one of the most important heroes for aerial operations; he is responsible for ensuring that no airplanes meet with accidents.
Endeavor appeared before HPSC President Kazuma Godai to ask him to repeal the anti-monopoly law.
"You know... even North Korea enforces that law, right? No one has ever deactivated it." Godai said this while wearing only boxers and a tank top; he had been sleeping with his wife when Enji showed up and smashed down the door.