u/She-used-to

When I see a thread on here, my response pops into my head. I open the comments and then 3 people have already expressed exactly what I was thinking.

It used to happen to me a lot on fb INTJ groups, before I deleted my account as well. Someone would ask a question. I would think No. Look at the comments 10 people have posted just “No.”

Being a human is weird.

I bloody love Dave Clarke. And Moderat. And Josh Wink. That is all (yes, I am an elderly millennial- but that means I saw monkeytown era modeselektor live and am over low rider jeans)

I’m dealing with this weird situation. I’ve had to cut off a couple of family members. One of them in particular won’t really accept it and seems determined to try and ruin my life. This person has created this weird narrative about me that I’m rich. I’m clearly not. I have a normal job and I live in a share house. I’ve had a few strange barbs about “all the money I have”, from intermediate people. The narrative seems to be that I don’t care about them and I’m leaving them to struggle.

This person is on benefits- fraudulently and lets another family member pay all their bills. This other family member is also on benefits (legitimately)and can’t really afford to do that.

The weird thing is that people seem to be just accepting this as truth when there’s no evidence of me having a lot of money- because I don’t. In one way, I find it funny and in another it’s like- enough already. Move on with your own life! This person is an INFJ

I don’t understand this behaviour at all. Do people really just believe anything they’re told without thinking about it at all??

What do you think of this behaviour? What does it say about the person do you think?

I’m not exactly sure what I’m trying to ask here yet- this is my Ni in action, so bear with me…

Is there anything you enjoy this is atypical for an INTJ, but the way you enjoy it is actually a typical INTJ experience which then annoys other people? (It took me a while to understand this annoyance. It’s hindsight)

Eg, I love particular and wildly varying styles of music. Let’s use electronic music and metal in this instance.

I love going to raves (real ones), not something you would expect from an INTJ. I literally just want to hear the music on a massive soundsystem and dance. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to go to the bar/for a smoke etc. A lot of people go to socialise. I don’t. Clash of different types of enjoyment here.

I realised that I think the reason I love it so much is that particular types of music literally force all thoughts from my mind. Internal monologue gone. I become pure sensation and I don’t want any outside interaction while this is happening. It is pure bliss and I think probably an Se experience. My Se is definitely underdeveloped.

I think I’m trying to understand why, when I like things that are common- I still experience that enjoyment in a way that annoys other people.

Basically a long winded way of saying- it’s hard being INTJ, I guess.
That was quite a rant there Peter… 😬

Does that make sense to anyone?? Anyone else experience the same in other ways or whatever?

As an INTJ woman, I find that I naturally get along with men better and I think it is because I prefer to connect with people based on my interests.

I like to talk about things that I’m interested in, in depth.

In my experience (and it is just my experience, not all women etc…) women tend to bond over talking about their relationships- he said, she said, I said etc. I don’t like this. It bores me. But I do go along with it to a certain degree because life…

When I try to talk to women about the things I’m interested in, eg music, I get some form of- the gig was fun/good/ I liked it- pivot to- did you see what such a person was wearing to the gig/ I talked to some dude in the smoking area etc. I want to talk about the snare sound, or a particular transition or whatever but that’s not reciprocated. So I bore them, as much as they bore me but my being bored is less socially accepted.

So then, talk to guys who are also fans of the things that I’m fans of and they are happy to go deep and nerd out. But then a repeated pattern in my life- they take my interest and enthusiasm about the subject to mean interest and enthusiasm about them and read romantic interest where there is none.

I’m not hot. You would not look twice at me if I passed you on the street, but this keeps happening and then they’re angry at me and I lose a friendship. It’s not cool.

So, is it fair to conclude that men are actually never genuinely interested in platonic friendship with a woman? I think I know the answer, but I don’t like it and I’d appreciate some genuine feedback on the subject.

Just be a hermit is my Te conclusion.