I have unwanted sexual nightmares involving my father
I want to start by making it clear that I am in fact not attracted to my father and those nightmares make my daily life hell, sometimes making me too afraid to even go to sleep.
With that being said, I've been having nightmares about my father. In them, I'm always in my bed as if I was sleeping but while still being aware of my surroundings. In my nightmares, my room is pitch dark, and the only thing I can hear are the steps of my father. I cannot move or speak and I can never change what happens right after in the nightmares.
I always wake up disgusted by myself and my own body, feeling like some sort of freak. Most of the time I can't barely look at people from my own family because I'm too afraid my nightmares would be about them next.
Those nightmares do not happen that often, more when I had a really bad/stressful day.
I do not know why I have those nightmares or how to make them stop.
I do not know what it says about me.