Why don’t I do things that I know will make me feel better?
I have a feeling that I’ll never be completely fulfilled in my life or I’ll just be a shell of what I want to be. I have a list of movies I want to watch in a notebook on my bookshelf along with books I haven’t read but know I will like. But they’re just sat there and I don’t even know why. I have all these goals I want to achieve like going to the gym and eating healthy because I know that it will benefit me and make me happier but I just… don’t do it. I just sit in my room on my phone looking at Substack or Reddit because I’ve deleted TikTok and instagram for the 5th time this week. I know it probably is the Damm phone but the damn phone is all I have at the moment right now. Even at school I feel like I’m not living up to my full potential. Maybe it was just because I was younger but I used to feel alive when I solved something in maths or science but now I just feel like I’m going down the wrong path and that every decision I ever made was the wrong one. I don’t know if this makes any sense but can anyone relate?