Hierarchies begin with mutual agreement.
That is literally how every single one of them begins, whether social, relationship, or political in nature. Two or more people make an agreement to establish a hierarchy that they will both agree to uphold and enforce.
It does not matter how freely and consensually you negotiate with a partner to make them your primary - to create this hierarchy of relationships. Once you've done so, it *is* a hierarchy now. You need to come to terms with that.
u/Shreddingblueroses — 4 days ago