I want to be cured.
Edit WARNING: i get really impassioned and rant a lot in this post. My apologies if i upset anyone. I am not trying to target anyone just express my frustrations with how my own desire for a cure is treated by both sighted and Disabled members of my own community.
I want to be Cured and i find it really annoying other disabled people don't. I am 21 (Male) and suffer from retinitis Pigmentosa. Yes. Suffer From. Not deal with. Not have. Not even struggle with. Suffer. From. It wants to Take from me. Some of my best times are reading, (which i lost around 13-14 and had to go with audio books) Playing video games and Watching Movies with my friends. I, for one, WANT TO BE CURED. Cure me. If there was anyway to cure me i'd take it in an instant. Im a pure Transhumanist. The human body sucks, hates you, Reject and fight against the Fading of the Light. And i get really really angry with how 'At Peace' everyone else in my community can be. They tell me to accept it or even that its not a bad thing. That im just 'different'. When im LOSING SOMETHING. Its being STOLEN from me by my Disease. I want. It gone. Im never having kids. Ever. I would never curse someone to live as i have Lived in a constant state of Fear and Terror as my Vision and favorite activities are Stripped from me. Dragged away. And everyone just acts like this makes me wiser. Or its just a quirk. Or god forbid a Superpower. Oh god i hate the Superpower metaphors. As if having superstrength is at all equatable to having something be STOLEN from you by genetics that just Hate you. I want to be cured. I want this gone. I want to see my nephew when hes an adult. I want to smile and play catch. I want to read small print. I want to watch Darker movies. Or navigate a theater without my cane. I hate this acceptance everyone in my community has of their disability. As of this Isnt a bad thing. It is. This is a Bad thing. Taking from you experiences. The world doesnt need to change if i can be Fixed. I dont want to fit in with normal people. I dont care about them. I want to be cured for my own reasons in order to Survive and keep doing the things i love. I want to be cured and im sick of pretending this is enlightening or Good or reflective or just different. Its BAD. Im losing something. Ive lost things i loved. Im sick of pretending that somehow disability is good to have or positive. Its not. Whats happening to me is a Bad thing. Its not a superpower. Its not a feel good moment. This is bad for me. Im born at a disadvantage. Id like to be on even footing. Id love robot eyes. Or an inhuman body. Their is nothing sacred about my disability. God didnt give.me a tough fight. Or want to use me as an example. This. Just. SUCKS. and im tired of pretending for the sake of others that it doesnt suck. That im okay with it. Sighted people and even fellow blind people Demand i just be okay with it. That i see it as a Good or unique quirk or interesting thing. No. Its a BAD THING. That i would vastly prefer Gone. Nature cursed me and my genetice hate me and i exist in Spite of those challenges. Im winning in spite of those things. I would love those issues to be gone. But their not. I lost my vision enough that by 13 i couldnt read a new book id bought in my favorite series. I remember it clearly. It was the latest read and it was so hard and i just couldnt do it. I remember at the age of 7 and 8. That i couldnt play dodgeball and just had to suffer trying anyway and being taken out immediatly or just give up and cry outside. I remember at 10 when i saw the Stars at my grandmas house. I remember by 12 when i couldnt anymore. I remember how at 17 i couldnt see the dark scenes in my first horror movie and it was just really boring and all my friends talked after about how scary it was and i realized descriptive audio was mandatory now. None of those things were Fun. Enlightening. Superheroic. They. Just. Sucked. And im sick of the romanticism around disability and how some Groups of disabled people fight against cures id kill for.
Another thing: physical disabilities and Mental disabilities are Factually extremely different and we need to stop lumping them in together. I dont want to cure Autism or anything. Thats not the same. It will never be the same. Physical disabilities and mental disabilities are very different. One is arguably just an entirely different set of tools in life. Where everyone else has power tools they have screwdrivers or Paint brushes or so on In physical disability: You are missing some of the Standard tools. Their gone. Anyway. Thats my complaint against the Disabled community. I. Want. A. Cure. I hope thats okay to want.