So glad to find this community
I'm two weeks in to quitting ct. I've been using OPMS silver Maeng da capsules for about 8 years because I thought it was helping my anxiety, depression and moderate back pain. I also thought it was helping me with energy and confidence at work, and keeping off weight due to stimulant effects. Started needing more and more to feel any of it. I finally started suspecting, after a few years of blaming other stuff, that the kratom was possibly the thing causing weird symptoms like puffy and very dry eyes every day, worsening chronic pain, volatile moods, extreme fatigue (ten hours of sleep and I still didn't want to get up), and loss of motivation, among other things I can't remember at the moment- it all became convoluted because I forgot how I felt before I ever tried it. Tried to stop a few times and always relapsed when I felt pain or anxiety or overwhelmed , etc. I recently experienced some days of really high blood pressure that scared me and I lowered number of capsules. A couple of days later I got a bad cold, and decided to stop it altogether ct to avoid mixing with cold and cough meds and still scared of the blood pressure. I wrapped up my remaining supply in a bag with a rubber band around it and put it in the closet. I was telling myself that I might want to use it again in the future and maybe it wasn't so bad and I already spent so much on it that throwing it away was a big waste. Today I started feeling unmotivated and depressed and thinking I wanted to go get it and take some , "only today - just to get energy to do my stuff today ..." Then I decided to look on Reddit to see if anyone had experiences or advice about all this. I typed "quitting," and before even typing the next letter k, the first option that popped up was this sub. I can't tell you all how relieved it feels to find this and read all these posts. It makes me feel so much less like a loser who has been hiding this from my family and friends for all these years. Literally no one knows. You all have inspired me and I'm taking the leftovers I bagged and throwing it in the garbage. I have a question for you all- after reading about all the chemical, biological, hormonal, etc. damage it causes, does anyone know if all of that will heal eventually? Thank you so much for being here. Hugs and hope for everyone here fighting this fight!