I can't fucking take it, I can't fucking take it
I can't even kill myself because I'm afraid of death this is so fucking unfair.
I constantly feel like I have no time and I'm gonna die, every day and every single fucking day I end up seeing people saying how the world is fucked and El Nino will kill everyone in 2027 and I keep checking and checking and falling back into old habits because I'm a stupid fucking idiot.
Therapy doesn't, Medecine doesn't help because everyone tells me this is the truth. I just want someone who is a scientist someone who knows what they're talking about to just tell me what will actually happen, not some assholes on youtube or twitter. But of course I can't even trust scientists cause they're LYING, everyone is going to FUCKING DIE, I'm going to die without achieving anything. I hate everyone, I hate myself maybe we should all just die.
Everyonje just wants me to have OCD and have me suffer forever. Well I hope they suffer forever too, if I could I would give everyone my OCD maybe then they wouldn't fucking talk about shit they don't know about.
Maybe it's not even OCD maybe it's all real, maybe all the times I've had OCD before were a lie maybe it's the truth this time maybe ythis is just my very rational and realistic reaction to the world ending. Maybe thi sis just how I'm supposed to react, maybe this just means I'm the normal one and everyone else is fucking crazy. God.
The only way I'll be happy is if I have scientists who can actually tell me what's real, other than that and I'll be miserable forever and it will be everyone's fault.