u/Significant-Ad-749

No, I don’t mean receiving a call from someone you haven’t seen in weeks/months and spending some hours rekindling. I mean sitting on the phone for hours every day with someone you text very often and see almost on a weekly basis — just to talk about something every 15 minutes with another 15 minutes of silence between that.

It’s driving me crazy because I feel like I should enjoy it, but I simply don’t. When I’m on the phone, I am giving my full attention; I can’t watch YouTube, work, or play video games because then I can’t focus on what I’m doing outside of the call, and if I do focus on what I’m doing, then I completely miss what’s being said over the phone and am having to constantly stop what I’m doing to say “what’d you say, again?”. But why are we still even on the phone if nothing is being said? I’m basically waiting for you to think of something to say. WHY?! Is this literally not what texting was made for? It feels so pointless.

This rant is mainly for friendships, but I still think this way for romantic relationships too. Me and my best friend are complete polar opposites. I am definitely no introvert — I can hold an hour-long conversation if we are actually talking about something — but I don’t force myself to talk or try to break the silence when I’m hanging with my friends. To be honest, I am completely fine with silence. I truly don’t understand why people need to find something to say.

On the other hand, I can’t recall a time my best friend wasn’t on the phone. And it doesn’t matter when, where or what. At home doing nothing? She’s on the phone, cool. At work? She’s on the phone. Hanging out with someone else? She’s on the phone. At the movies? She’s on the phone. To make matters worse, she works the night shift and doesn’t get off til 5 AM. She will call me past midnight and try to stay on the phone for more an hour. I’ll hit her with the, “hey, I’m tired, I’m going to sleep now” and the call seems to go on even longer, but I also hate just straight-up hanging up on people so that’s on me. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t have anything to talk about past midnight, let alone 1 am.

I don’t care how bored I am at work or at home — calling somebody to fill the void has never crossed my mind. I will always find something — or nothing at all — to do. If I get a random itch to play video games with someone, sure let’s call for hours while we play together**.** Sitting on the phone the whole time I’m hanging with someone else? Absolutely not. Even when I’m just chilling at home I don’t feel the need to call someone and deal with continuous loops of absolutely pointless conversations and silence — it feels so inauthentic and makes my skin crawl. Is it crazy to save it for when we see each other?

Honestly, I struggle to maintain interest in whatever is being said after a call goes on for more than an hour, because it really is never a time a call needs to go that long. Bits of silence while hanging out is — to me — sooo different, because you can just enjoy the presence of the person. But silence on a call? I can’t see or hear you so what are we doing. I see my friends and my brother sitting on the phone from morning til evening with the same person, and I just can’t see the point.

My mom says that I just haven’t found someone that I am interested in enough. I have plenty friends that share the same interests as me, and I’ve been in a long-term relationship — at no point did I ever enjoy sitting on the phone. It’s cool to have a 1-2 hour call every once in a while, but more than 1-2 times a week (and 2 times is pushing it) is overkill for me. I truly can’t stand it.

I tend to only call people when I have something I need to directly talk to them about or if I want to ask them to hangout, because what’s better than an actual in person conversation? My best friend will sit on the phone with anybody who will answer her call, and if you do answer her call (after she’s ringed you 2-3 times), she will most likely try to call you again that same day, after the initial hour or longer call, whether you are or aren’t willing to listen. When we first became friends (4 years and going strong!!), she tried FaceTiming me daily and throughout the day. I had to tell her that I couldn’t do it then and I damn sure can’t do it now that I’m working. Even now, if I like something she posts or send her a quick text, I expect an incoming call notification — and I’m usually always right. I love that lady with my whole heart but can someone please let me know I am not an outsider to this feeling??

If you have read any of my posts on here, you would know that I’ve had 5 surgeries pertaining to my initial ACL reconstruction surgery in 2024 that resulted in my knee getting infected twice and the removal of my ACL graft. With May’s arrival, I’ve undergone my 6th and (hopefully final) surgery — a second ACL reconstruction.

It’s been 4 days post-op, and things could not be going any better. I haven’t had to use any pain medication since the day of my surgery because I truly haven’t been in any pain whatsoever. I can bend my knee enough to almost get up the stairs normally, and full extension is pretty much there. I went on my first short walk today to finally see the outside world since the surgery, and my knee continues to feel better the more I exercise it. Still, I’m prioritizing rest, icing, and elevation to ensure a safe and stable recovery.

I wholeheartedly doubt that these quick developments come from a random stroke of luck. If you read my story, you would know that after my first ACL surgery, I had a personal trainer, and I also ran an entire track season on an unknowingly infected knee — yet the quad graft prevailed. Even after the graft was taken out, I continued to workout and keep my body healthy. In my eyes, this is the universe’s way of patting me on the back for my resilience during those hard times, and I couldn’t be anymore grateful.

Since this may be my final post on here, strictly for inspirational purposes, I want to shed light on what my life has been like during this 2-year battle:

On the 1-year post-op anniversary of my initial ACL surgery, I slipped and fell in the rain. How ironic, right? What came after, in addition to the pain and discomfort I had already been having, was a swollen knee and inability to walk. The next day, I found myself in the hospital again, now with a knee that had finally been identified as still infected. It wasn’t until I woke up from my 4th surgery that I was told my ACL had been taken away from me yet again. At that point, I saw nothing but sutures and scars overwhelming my knee, broadcasting the tale of how I went through a year-long recovery…ultimately for nothing.

I did have aspirations of running track in college. Prior to tearing my ACL, I went to state for 3 events, took calls from several coaches, and had a seemingly bright athletic future laid out for me. So, of course, great sadness and disappointment came with the news that I would have to stop sports indefinitely. The timeline for recovery tells me that I will have to wait til my junior year of college to really have a chance to get back to where I was. But the saying is true: when a door closes, another one opens.

Despite all of these setbacks, I have achieved so much. I got into my #1 university choice, paying for it with $20k in scholarships that I applied and interviewed for; I also got into the honors program and was placed on the president’s list for maintaining a 4.0 GPA; I got elected to be an executive board member for my school’s National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE); I joined an automotive endurance racing team and found a new passion and possible career in motorsports; and 3 weeks ago, I took a chance walking into an automotive parts store and instantly scored a job for the summer.

Am I sad that my future as an athlete has possibly changed?

Absolutely.

Will I let this injury determine my future success and achievement in life?

Absolutely not.

I wouldn’t be who I am without sports, but life goes on and sometimes you just get the bitter end of the stick. Having an optimistic mindset has made these two years of utter misfortune feel like a cakewalk, and I know I have so much more to give even with another year of recovery to go. I do hope these words help someone going through a rough patch, as I’ve come to realize that poor situations tend to have a way of getting better when you think positively and not allow one specific moment in time to define you — no matter how long it may last.

TLDR: I have another ACL now, and despite significant hardship, life has been pretty good.

Sitting on the phone for hours is utterly pointless to me.

The Final Stretch