Help/advice
I've been trying to get clean off of meth for about a couple months now. I started heavily back the end of February. I got really close with the new dealer and his wife and child. I went through traumatic stuff and none of friends or family were there. Even though Im the type of person to always be there for everybody. The only people that cared and showed up, treated me like I was a person, showed me that I can do it. Were the people I started buying from. They believed in me when no one else did. Great people they truly are. I'm great ful for them. They are the most kindest caring and loyal people I've ever met. The problem is it's one of the biggest reasons why I keep relapsing. I don't want to cut them out my life is there any other way? I need advice and have no one to talk about this with.
ADD ON
This is such a hard decision for me because the girl I came close with. I'm her only friend and she's gone through a lot like I have in life. My best friend of 15 years would always ghost when my life would get rough. Most recently she cut me down so bad while I was fighting the addiction and suicidal thoughts, even though, she didn't even care enough to ask what's been going on, she just assumed. It really made question the entire friendship. I'll never look at her the same. Everytime she needed somebody whether she was going through domestic violence homelessness, drug addiction, abortions etc. no matter if we talked in months or days. I would always welcome her and her kids into my home. But Everytime I went through some fucked up shit, she would be gone. So I really can't do someone that's been the only one there for me how I've been done. I don't have the heart. the guilt would eat me alive