Looking for advice. I’m bipolar and am really struggling with my relationship and infidelity.
This is a throwaway account, for obvious reasons. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
I’m dealing with a situation that I’m pretty ashamed and confused about, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have bipolar and may understand the emotional side of this.
I’m in a long term relationship with someone I genuinely love and care about. (I know how hypocritical that sounds) Our relationship hasn’t been perfect, and for a while I’ve had doubts about our future and whether I’m fully happy, but I’ve also been very afraid of losing the relationship.
At the same time, over the past year I became very emotionally close with someone else. It gradually crossed boundaries, and recently I slept with that person. I know that was my decision and I’m not trying to blame bipolar for cheating, I fucked up.
Now I’m stuck between feeling like I should end my relationship because I crossed such a serious boundary and feel as though my partner deserves better, & being terrified of losing someone who has been a huge part of my life. I also don’t know whether staying would mean I truly want the relationship or whether I’m just scared of being alone and dealing with the consequences of what I did.
I have never felt so sick & confused as to who I am as a person.