u/Silly-Apartment-7481

I, 24M, have been with my girlfriend, 23F, for over 4 years. She has never been a “size 2”. That’s not something I would ever ask of her and that’s not what I’m looking for, but we have both gained a substantial amount of weight during our relationship.

When we started dating, I was around 180 pounds and “skinny fat”, she was 170 pounds give or take but I didn’t care. We are in love. I decided to start losing weight when I hit 252 pounds and after 8 weeks of more exercise, gradually cutting out sugar and overall just making better decisions meal wise, I’m proud to say I’m down to 228 pounds.

My girlfriend on the other hand is now just shy of 300 pounds. I’ve noticed that the further we get in our relationship, the more she gets sick, doesn’t feel good, is lazy more often than not and I’m starting to be worried about her health. She’s always been more of a home body than a going out type of person but by lazy I mean that she doesn’t want to do even basic things half the time like shave her legs, she doesn’t want to come over to my place because she doesn’t want to get out of bed(4pm on a Friday), she doesn’t want to go grocery shopping or cook and just wants to get chic fil a or panda express instead. Just general no desire to do much. On the other hand, I work 50+ hours a week and she complains if I want to go out to the bar, a concert or the casino with a few friends of ours once a week.

I started realizing this when we went to a Basketball game(we normally go 5-10 times a season) and she could no longer fit in the seats. Now we have to buy more expensive “platinum level” seats for her to be comfortable. Same situation when she flew on a weekend trip with her parents a couple months ago, she was complaining to me about how small the seats were and she hadn’t before when they or we typically go on a weekend vacation once a year.

I’ve kind of brought it up before, she’s always been insecure about her body. I had mentioned that I wanted to start getting in shape and going to the gym, meal planning/prepping, the whole 9 and that I thought we could do it together. She said she’d do it but it was more of like a “ughh fine” than a true “I’m down” and I started looking at gyms to go to. She never ended up going with me or showing any interest.

Most of her family is pretty big. Is it possible she just thinks it’s normal to be that out of shape?
How do I have a conversation like that out of concern? Am I doing something wrong?

I, 24M, have been with my girlfriend, 23F, for over 4 years. She has never been a “size 2”. That’s not something I would ever ask of her and that’s not what I’m looking for, but we have both gained a substantial amount of weight during our relationship.

When we started dating, I was around 180 pounds and “skinny fat”, she was 170 pounds give or take but I didn’t care. We are in love. I decided to start losing weight when I hit 252 pounds and after 8 weeks of more exercise, gradually cutting out sugar and overall just making better decisions meal wise, I’m proud to say I’m down to 228 pounds.

My girlfriend on the other hand is now just shy of 300 pounds. I’ve noticed that the further we get in our relationship, the more she gets sick, doesn’t feel good, is lazy more often than not and I’m starting to be worried about her health. She’s always been more of a home body than a going out type of person but by lazy I mean that she doesn’t want to do even basic things half the time like shave her legs, she doesn’t want to come over to my place because she doesn’t want to get out of bed(4pm on a Friday), she doesn’t want to go grocery shopping or cook and just wants to get chic fil a or panda express instead. Just general no desire to do much. On the other hand, I work 50+ hours a week and she complains if I want to go out to the bar, a concert or the casino with a few friends of ours once a week.

I started realizing this when we went to a Basketball game(we normally go 5-10 times a season) and she could no longer fit in the seats. Now we have to buy more expensive “platinum level” seats for her to be comfortable. Same situation when she flew on a weekend trip with her parents a couple months ago, she was complaining to me about how small the seats were and she hadn’t before when they or we typically go on a weekend vacation once a year.

I’ve kind of brought it up before, she’s always been insecure about her body. I had mentioned that I wanted to start getting in shape and going to the gym, meal planning/prepping, the whole 9 and that I thought we could do it together. She said she’d do it but it was more of like a “ughh fine” than a true “I’m down” and I started looking at gyms to go to. She never ended up going with me or showing any interest.

Most of her family is pretty big. Is it possible she just thinks it’s normal to be that out of shape?
How do I have a conversation like that out of concern? Am I doing something wrong?