A guy I hooked up with started filming during sex, I asked him to stop and he reluctantly did. Later on he did it again. I feel upset abt this, is it assault ? I’m not sure how to put the way I feel into words.
I hooked up with a guy I met while travelling and during sex he started filming from his POV. As soon as I turned around and noticed he was filming I got quite upset and asked him to stop and I put his phone to the side. He said he was sorry. Later on I turned around and noticed that he was filming again. I was much more upset this time as I felt that the disrespect had been furthered by this repeated behaviour. His excuse was that “my face was not in it”, I snatched the phone away again and this time kept it in front of me. I was still visibly upset and also feeling a lot of pain during the act, I voiced this and it frustrated him. He started telling me that I was “behaving like an idiot” and “sounding like an idiot” and ridiculous comments like “I’m sure no guy can make you finish because you complain so much”. We were both drunk if that has any relevance to the story.
I just feel incredibly disrespected, upset, angry and uncomfortable in my own sense of femininity and autonomy. I’m not sure if this classifies as assault or just violation, but I am so sick and tired of men fore-fronting their own satisfaction — especially when it results in not only dissatisfaction on the women’s part, but also discomfort and anxiety :(
Thoughts?
Edit: I didn’t mention that while we were having sex it was very painful (maybe I have stomach or issues in my uterus, who knows) and he was going quite rough. I told him to slow down various times and he would for a little while but then he would start going rough again. As it went on I was mote sternly asking him to slow down and this — and the point where I told him to stop filming — was when he started saying nasty things and being rude. He also tried to put his penis in my anus a few times and I had to say “no” on more than one occasion. I spotted blood afterwards. I didn’t feel the need to initially mention this because a part of me figured that since he did stop at times when I told him to that it was not problematic, however, upon reflection I think the way it happened was in fact problematic.