What should I do?
It has been a rough 25 year marriage. We have two young children together. My husband has repeatedly threatened access to joint money and divorce during much of this time. It obviously hasn't all been bad, but it has gotten increasingly worse in the past 6/7 years. In general, he has never shown appreciation for me. He devalues my financial contribution, says he doesn't need me, doesn't like me etc. I have always given him grace for much of this due to seeing how his parents interacted together in his childhood home. Neither of us were religious when we entered marriage. We lost all of our parents after COVID. As things grew increasingly worse in my marriage, I sought out peace in the bible. I learned better how to be a peacekeeper, and quit escalating conflicts, quit defending myself to the verbal assaults. He mocks me for now attending church, and that's fine. Since my father's passing, I purposely drug out the closing of probate because I was unsure of what to do with the inheritance from the selling of my father's land/home. I had a modest estate account that I was using to upkeep my father's home during that time. I did deposit some 15K in our joint account from the selling of various vehicles etc. This didn't set well, and conflict escalated as a result. He quit wearing his wedding band, refused to say he loved me, told me he pulled me off his life insurance, threatened divorce. I asked God for help. Due to his negative behaviors that escalated during these two years, I chose to keep my family inheritance in a separate account. I let him know that we could use it as needed for large unexpected expenses, but that I would prefer to keep the bulk of it aside for the children, my father's grandchildren. He says I am choosing the money over marriage. He has opened up a separate bank account, and now puts all his paychecks into that account. He is stating that I have been using him, and that we will now split everything 50/50. I question rather I did the right thing by my family's money. It's not a huge sum, but it is enough to enable me to purchase a home, car, attorney's fees etc. should he decide to divorce. I never gloat about the money. I work full time, but he makes about twice my pay. We have zero intimacy and it's been that way for quite a while. I ask for counseling and he refuses. He says we have a business relationship. I know I should be spending more time in prayer for guidance, but what can I do to save this marriage? I don't want a divorce. I don't want to be separated from my children for days at a time. At the same time, I can't just pretend that divorce hadn't been used as leverage during our marriage, and that he wasn't already acting the fool over my having a small account estate account leading up to the sell of the property. Please help.