r/askapastor

My wife and I agree on pretty much everything when it comes to our faith. There is one hot topic however that we don't see eye to eye on. For a quick reference, I am a former defense contractor and law-enforcement, she is prior military. We are both retired at a younger age.

The question comes down to self defense or scenarios of defense of another. I posed the question during a disagreement on the topic...if our church went underground, and a radical group had our pastor/congregation members ready to be executed for their faith, and i had the ability to stop the radicals using lethal force, should I?

Or, should we eliminate radical groups that would torture and kill believers, missionaries overseas to rescue the afflicted?​

She takes a stance on blessings of martyrs, and while no doubt people are persecuted for their faith and have their reward, and i certainly believe in a pacifist lifestyle, i do not believe allowing martyrdom if given the oppurtunity to stop it given my potential for ability and training.

So do we pray for the persecuted only, or shall we act if possible?

Not a pastor

For context, I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I also come from a comparative spirituality background and have over 40 years of personal spiritual seeking, study, and practice across multiple traditions. My friend is a biblical Christian from a conservative evangelical background. He sees me as a gay man in our interactions because I have not shared my transmasculine/non-binary identity with him for personal reasons.

My friend does not consider me a Christian because I have not declared Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and because I do not share an evangelical framework of sin and salvation. We also approach Jesus differently—he holds a traditional evangelical view, while I relate to Jesus in a more mystical and experiential way.

When we first met, he understood me to be an agnostic or non-Christian. At that time I was fairly reserved about my spirituality, partly because our frameworks didn’t align well. He later told me he had been praying for God to “open my heart.” I accepted that prayer, and from my perspective my heart was opened to God—though not in a way that looks like evangelical conversion.

Recently, he encouraged me to read the Gospel of John. I did so. I shared with him that when I engage with any sacred text, I tend to do so in an embodied way, that I feel the meaning of the words in my body and soul.

During that conversation, the topic of “covenant” came up naturally, along with a broader discussion about prayer. It wasn’t structured or formal, but an unfolding exchange that emerged from the natural flow of conversation.

In that context, he spontaneously invited me to pray with him. We did not ask for anything; we simply expressed gratitude and thanksgiving together in the moment.

This stood out to me because, in my spiritual framework, prayer is not casual. It carries relational weight and responsibility. I don’t approach prayer lightly, and I don’t tend to pray for specific outcomes because I don’t presume to know what another person needs or what should unfold. Certainly if there is something tangible to do to help, I do that instead of pray.

Another important piece of context is that he has previously said he considers only fellow Christians to be his spiritual family. I, however, experience certain relationships as spiritual family within my own karmic framework, including a sense of continuity across lifetimes, even when theological beliefs differ. I experience him in that way, though he does not share or return that framing.

My question is:

Within your Christian tradition, is inviting someone who is not considered a Christian into a spontaneous prayer of thanksgiving generally viewed as ordinary kindness or evangelism, or does it more often signal a deeper level of spiritual fellowship, trust, or acceptance?

If you’re willing, I’d also appreciate it if you mention your denomination or tradition, as I’m curious how interpretations may differ.

I am not a pastor. I am coming back to faith after a very long time away. I am studying the new testament to start mainly because truthfully and possibly shamefully I have this deep fear of god. To combat this i am trying to focus my studys on what I believe to be gods ultimate way he has shown his love for us all Jesus christ. However while I study this I am still filled with this fear that if I sin if I make a wrong move god may punish me by takeing away those I care deeply for. I am terrified of this of making a mistake of truly wanting to do better and truly trying to but failing it may result in me losing the pepole I am closest to.

I do have other questions and hope I can make this a resource in my journey back to faith.

I am a Protestant Evangelical Christian. Jesus saved my soul when I was seven years old. I felt called to preach. As a teen, I served in multiple roles around our Baptist Church, I even preached on special occasions. At 17, I began attending and eventually completed a two year, non-accredited Biblical Studies and Church Administration program. I was ordained at 20, but after a series of events, several close unexpected deaths of people I was close to, my mother become an addict again, I lost my faith.
During that season, when I was 23, I was dating a Christian woman from a very wealthy family (10M +). We partied together and now have a son who is almost 20. We were never married. The family wanted to protect their finances, which I never cared about or asked for, but I was falsely accused of things that have kept me from my son for years. Now, he and I do not have a relationship.
God brought me back to faith at the age of 26, I’m almost 44 now. I have a passion for working with the lost and those that are struggling. My wife and I have been together almost 20 years, we have three amazing daughters together. During that time, I’ve taught Sunday school or lead discipleship groups for several churches. For five years we helped lead a vibrant marriage ministry. We helped with a Wesleyan church plant in a metro area and were small group leaders there for 10 years, before God called us to our current church where we serve as lay leaders and teach. I now hold and undergrad in Religion and Entrepreneurship and a graduate degree in Education. I’ve been praying for years about returning to college to complete a Masters of Clinical Health Counseling and a Masters of Divinity with the goal to pastor/church plant and to run a counseling practice.
Technically, I’m the husband of one wife. We have children who are growing in their faith.
However, I’m struggling with moving forward in my education if I’m unqualified to lead a local congregation.
Being transparent, I don’t know if a local congregation would accept the fact I have an estranged son.
I do not want to cause division, but ai am called to preach and to teach.
Should I just complete a counseling degree and work with individuals and families?
I would love to hear from Pastors who are apart of blended families or may have had a period where they lost their faith. Thank you for reading.

Custody battle is halting marriage and two people has had sex already in the past but halted due to faith, can people can get married spiritually and marriage license in future after legal issues solved.

I’m an involved long-time member of a 350+ member IFB( independent fundamental baptist) church that’s currently losing a lot of legacy long-time families, a couple church employees, and key volunteers, which all have quietly left over the last 3 years; some was work, life, and most recently seems to be due to the church situation. The pastor has decided not to fill major vacancies (like school principal and choir director/worship leader), choosing to take on all those roles himself instead.

When people suggest delegating, he shuts it down from the pulpit, saying he’s doing it "for the Lord" and implying that any questions are unsupportive and claiming criticism of leadership hurts the church. Lately, he’s been preaching heavily on what you call legalism and standards, as well as "damage control” to offset the leaving members, including things like using an illustration of a coach and his players, "When I say jump, you jump."

As someone who works in a field where delegation and team structure are vital, this feels like an unsustainable disaster.

Just looking for some perspective on how to process this or how to move forward in speaking with him. He’s recently said from the pulpit, he’s got a long line of people wanting to talk to him and then went on to say “hurt people hurt other people.”

He currently does have more than capable staff, I’m not sure why he doesn’t use them or try to develop the young staff. We have a deacon board that were already serving or were picked by him to run; the church members voted them in by a yes or no. So, I’m not sure if this is bad or what.

I’ve talked to an older member who is a long time Christian and has a legacy of saved family members, who said he has no idea what’s going on, but a lot of good families are leaving.
I’ve been thinking about taking my family and leaving too as I dread going to church to hear tangents of underlying “You’re not following me as I follow Christ,” or outwardly saying, “If you’re not serving, you’re drifting.” and “Nobody understands the burden I carry.” I cringe at these phrases when I hear him speak from the pulpit. Like I said, seems to be a rallying of the warriors and damage control.

Has anyone here gone thru this? I would like some advice. What are your thoughts? Also would like some prayer for my pastor and my church please.

Not a pastor.

Forgive me if this isn't the place. I'm 23F. I sin an awful lot.

I know God, I love him, I know that Jesus was tortured and died on the Cross for my sins (and for all others).

Except, I cannot stop sinning. Sometimes I feel the guilt and shame tap me on the shoulder, especially late at night when I have all the hours and silence to worry, that my actions are going to lead to Hell.

I don't really have a denomination, and I don't necessarily understand/believe in the fiery, torturous hell-pit-? I believe it's just.. nothingness? Like you're not with God.

I want to be with God and I want to love him, he's been the only real Father and guide I've had.

But I just absolutely cannot rip myself away from sin. And I don't really want to, I'm entirely in love with my sin and I just..

I have no other words. I'm terrified that just knowing that God himself lived perfectly and died for our sins isn't enough.

How come it's not enough for me to want to be better or perfect or anything?

This is more of a vent than anything, I'll admit, but I'm really looking for reassurance and kind honesty.

TLDR/clear questions;

What if I don't want to stop sinning, but I still love God and know he exists and that Jesus existed, what will happen to me? And what do I do?

Is it most of them, or would you say half/a minority of them never fully read the Bible before becoming a pastor? True Biblical literacy (perhaps Mastery would be a better term) is difficult to find from my experiences...I am not a pastor but have seminary education (Masters degree). An administrative leader at a certain seminary said he wishes more students would be better versed Biblically before attending.

I have been saved for about 5 years but my life within those five years did not always glorify the Lord! A month ago, I started a new church and the sermon was about sanctification and I got convicted and decided to turn my habits again. No more sex outside of marriage, no more cussing and no more gossiping( my kryptonite). I just looked at my habits and realized most secular people wouldn’t take me seriously as a Christian by the way I live my life; I was going to church and Bible study but still living for the world. After I started making this change, I got horrible anxiety and thoughts in my head. Like “ why are you worshipping a man?” “ this is all fairytale stuff” “ why do you even need religion?” I have never had these thoughts in the past five years so I am so confused on where it’s coming from. I have encountered Christ. He freed me from a 5 year porn addition, freed me from tarot and witchy stuff, got me into law school with a 75% scholarship when everyone on Reddit and in my life told me it would not be possible. He broke family and generational curses and witchcraft place on us from my African family members. I have seen God work but I don’t know where these thoughts are coming from. My insta and music is mostly Christian content and I have been fasting and praying for a week now until I get baptized in the middle of July. I don’t want these thoughts anymore. I just want to go back to the way things were.

*not a pastor

I recently started to sell life insurance, and the amount of people that brush it off seems astounding. Now. Of course. I need to get better at selling, but I am curious. As Pastors, how often are you faced with helping family that didn't have life insurance, to get a proper burial and funeral?

I would love some more perspective.

Thank you

I have a question, my whole life I have been kind of intuitive, not in a psychic way but sometimes I feel God is compelling me to check on someone. And when I don't listen bad things happen.

I've woken up early twice now recently and both times the same person has been having a ptsd episode.

Is there a reason God is waking me up to check on this person? How do I know? Sometimes I wake up wondering why I'm awake and this morning I sent this friend a message asking why I'm awake and they asked if they could call and they were in the middle of an episode.

Anyways, does God connect you to people? Does he assign people to others because they are the support the other person needs?