I'm in love with my bro
I'm in love with my best friend as a gay high schooler
PS: THIS IS A VERY LONG RANT, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT JUST SCROLL
Yeah strong off the bat but it's true. I'm in love with one of my homeboys and I feel bad, and it's not long it's new feelings but they just started to get stronger, wayyyyy stronger. One of the bad parts is me and his girlfriend used to be best friends until she kind of fucked me over, and every now and then he'll ask why, but with how bad and her fell out I don't want I don't want to tell him.
The way I like him isn't like....y'know, based off hormones if you get what I mean, but in a romantic way, like I'd kill everyone in that school if it meant me and him could live happily together with no doubt about who we are, but he's not only straight, but he's also dating a girl I don't fuck with at all so it's hard to be around him when he gets all lovey dovey for her.
sometimes we should flirt like how bros do but sometimes I want his words to be true, and I'm to far in to back out now, were such "bros" he'll legit sit on my lap in front of the whole cafeteria as one of our joking bro things, the point is he knows were bros and best friends, but id kill for anything more than that.
One last thing before you can forget about this post and just move on. There was this one time he came into first period on the verge of tears, he just sat down and layed his hand down on the desk and sobbed, not wanting to bother him I just rub his back and let him be, not prodding but not leaving either.
I'm guessing I wasn't paying attention at the time but some how my hand ended up in his, he was just crying and carresing my hand as he did, and I feel horrible for feeling this way but to me it almost felt intimate, for him to be so vulnerable in front of so many people and he chose to hold on to me. Turns out him and his girlfriend were arguing at the time and he was upset, I'm not sure why but it's not my business.
So if any like wise gay guy or someone who's been in my position give me advice that would be nice, because I have cried over this guy and I feel bad for loving him like I do so any help would be appreciated
Also, if the guy Im talking about some how figures this is about you and you know exactly who I am, I'm sorry for doing this to you