How does my family recover my deceased sister's things from her avoidant boyfriend's home?
My sister (32f) passed three months ago and her boyfriend (42m) has always been clear about not preferring people in his family's home. The only reason my sister moved in there was because she was evicted and he is the caregiver for his parents (70s?), so... unfortunately it made "sense" at the time.
We all knew this was NOT a great solution, but I don't want to get into all the details about woulda coulda shoulda in getting her the help and solutions she truly needed. It's still fresh, which is why I'm here....
Everyone has different approaches to grief. We don't blame her boyfriend (entirely.) But some of her things are still in his family's house. I understand he doesn't want people in there as it is a hazard, but we aren't judgemental and her things are now our family's things and we don't know absolutely what's there, but we know her medals and playbills and small valuables aren't with us from the first go-around, so there is more in the bedroom they shared.
He is grieving too, but he's avoiding what needs to happen. It's reached a point where he's intentionally dodging us. We don't want to involve the police, but, seriously, what can we do?
Happy to provide further context if it's felt necessary. Drugs and guns I don't feel a concern, however alcohol always was. My dad doesn't feel comfortable my mom and me showing up alone there, but she and I both feel like "what's he gonna do," but, again, grief and alcohol....