r/inheritance

I brought my mom home with me to live 3 years ago. I have a brother that hasn't been to see her 10 times & never calls. We do not talk & he's truly a POS!
She's 86 years old and in good health but I still have to shower her, wash her hair, wash her clothes, etc. I don't get paid & was wondering if I will be allowed to sue her estate for 24/7 care when she passes.
She has a house I'm guessing $300,000-$400,000 that is sitting empty. Just trying how to be ready as he is over all her accounts ( let me add I'm 64 years old & disabled)

Him & her house are in Tn
Her & myself are in Ms. home paid off

I live in Connecticut. My husband and I own a home together and it is our only property. We bought it before we were married and contributed (and contribute) to it equally. This is a second marriage and we each have kids from a prior marriage. We are in our 60s.

We recently met with an estate lawyer who suggested that we each put our "half" of our home in a life estate for the other, with each of our kids (or a trust which benefits our kids) as the "remaindermen." The lawyer said that this way, if one of us dies first, there is no worry about the remaining spouse disinheriting the children.

We have a decent amount of assets (mostly in retirement) outside of our home and our initial plan was to leave a portion of those assets to our children payable upon each of our deaths, and that would be their inheritance. Then, when the remaining spouse dies, all children would get an equal share of the home (if we still own it). For some reason, this idea of a life estate is really bothering me - because it seems like it overly complicates things and could make it difficult for the remaining spouse to sell or do anything without permission from the "life estate" trustee. I want things simple, and while I understand that there is no guarantee a widow/widower won't run off and remarry and then disinherit the kids, my view is that the kids will already have received plenty of money if one of us dies. (My spouse also has family money that will likely go directly to his kids so less to worry about on that side than on my side.) If we have a situation where we are 80, and our retirement funds are very depleted, and we don't have much extra to leave the kids, I might consider the life estate, but to have that restriction on someone makes me nervous.

I'm not sure why the lawyer is so hot on this - can someone else explain? We both have advanced degrees (though not in law) and have done our share of researching this, but would love to hear from any lawyers out there or someone who has been through this.

Sorry for the novel and thank you!

I’m looking for some objective outside opinions because I genuinely can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable.
My mum has 5 children (3 don’t have contact with her due to her behaviour) I’m the youngest (30F) and my brother is 32M. Her townhouse is essentially her only significant asset. She’s financially struggling and owes my brother around $20k. He says he can’t keep lending her money so he’s buying the townhouse.

It’s worth roughly $600–650k as is, higher estimate is 800k although it needs some work. He’s buying it for somewhere around **$**500k, and they’ve already had legal advice and are proceeding.

I understand that she owes my brother 20k and he should get that back, what I struggle with is that Mum initially offered me $5k, plus some of my grandfather’s inheritance which I believe I’m entitled to anyway and may never receive (he hates my mum and she didn’t receive anything from her mother either). The 5k offer felt insulting.

I’m a single F30 with no assets, living on one nursing income. I’ve spent years studying and making significant financial sacrifices to build a stable future. My brother is in a different financial position with investment properties, 2 income streams and works as a buyers agent.

I also think he needs to implement boundaries and not accept that he will be financially responsible for her indefinitely. My brother can’t be expected to keep lending her money but equally she needs to take responsibility for living within her means. Buying the house may solve the immediate problem, but it shouldn’t be a case of if I don’t buy the house I have to fund her life (she receives a pension, is 70yo, owns her home, barely leaves her suburb).

My mum has also always talked about how devastated she was when her parents sold their family home to her sister and gave her nothing. So it feels particularly hurtful that I’m now potentially in a similar position.
My brother has also said, “You’re lucky I’m working with you on this,” which really upset me. I’m his little sister, not someone he should be negotiating against.

They’ve now offered me around 40k for a deposit for a home but that doesn’t seem fair given the instant equity he’d receive and up to 300k in profit from selling.

There’s also a lot of history here. I’m the youngest of five and my relationship with Mum has involved significant childhood trauma. I’ve often felt like I’ve had to be the parent by helping her practically, emotionally and financially, unfortunately my brother is still under her spell. I think part of what hurts is seeing friends whose parents help them build their futures, while I feel like I’m being left with almost nothing. If I were a mother with one major asset, I’d want to help my children where I could.

What would you do in this situation? Is it reasonable for me to ask for a more transparent and equitable arrangement or am I being entitled by feeling that it isn’t fair given the potential benefit my brother is receiving?

Your ex-wife, the nursing home, your current wife's pool boy........?

My next door neighbor moved in about 20 years ago with wife and 2 kids. Wife lasted about 5 years and in another 5 years the house got transferred to a son. Son was married and had a kid. Now the police have been out front a few times and the son's wife seems to have control of the house and the son and father have not been seen for a few years.

About 6 years ago when I was 18 my dad (who is divorced on bad terms from my mum) told me that my mother owed me $40,000 from money that my nana's boyfriend left to me when he died in 2009. He also left $40,000 to each of my other 3 siblings. At first I did not believe him but he told me to confront my mother about it and so I did. She confirmed it and told me that she would start the process to pay me the money. Me and my mum are not on good terms and she had never mentioned this money to me before.

Apparantly my mother had invested this $40,000 and my siblings money into building the house that we lived in.

My question is, if my mother invested the $40,000 into the house that has since gone up in value over the 10 years we have lived in it, would I be entitled to more money? The house was worth about 1.2 millon when it was first build and by the time the inhertance money was given to me the house was worth about 1.8-2 million.

Am I potentially entitled to more money?

I have a question, My mother has passed, she was one of three siblings. My grandma has more than average assets, and when she passes it would be distributed three ways (my uncles receive ⅓ each, and my sibling would split our mother's portion).

I'm remarried and had 2 kids with first wife. If i pass, who would receive inherited assets... my children, or my widow?

My parents passed this last fall and winter. My sister is the executor of the will. Is there a way that I can see it without talking to her? I have my reasons.

Location: Texas

I am putting together a feature story for Good Weekend (The Sydney Morning Herald / The Age) about what happens when we inherit a loved one's lifetime of collecting. In an era of minimalism and Marie Kondo decluttering, we want to explore the emotional weight of these collections: Is it a gift, a heavy logistical burden or a beautiful piece of family history?

We are looking for everyday Australians who have inherited unique, massive, beautiful or flat-out bizarre collections (e.g., thousands of vintage records, specific toys, taxidermy, niche ephemera, eccentric tools, or weird family heirlooms) and are currently figuring out what to do with them.

📸 The Catch: You must be willing to be beautifully photographed alongside the collection by a professional Good Weekend photographer for a stunning print layout.

If this is you, or someone you know, please send me a DM or drop a comment below with a brief description of what you inherited!

To preface this, I plan to get professional advice soon, but I am wondering thoughts on whether there's anything to be done here.

Timeline:

• Revocable Living trust established in Father's name in 1995 with 2 properties. Both properties were gifted to him by his parents directly into the trust, after marriage in Illinois.
• Father passed in 2018, Trust converted to an irrevocable trust with Beneficiaries 25% wife, 25% son1, 50% son2. No mention of a life estate in the trust document.
• Trust document specifies to break into 3 new trusts per above split, but that did not happen.
• Property #1 was sold in 2020. Funds sat in trust account
• In time period 2020-2025, only dispersants were made to wife, none to either son aside from minor dispersant which was gifted to wife/mother (due to trust equity constraints).
• In time period 2018-2025 Wife lived alone in house and shouldered all mortgage payments, property taxes, utilities. Trustee advised trust couldn't be resolved until house was sold, so family decision was made to leave wife/mother in house and the trust in-place.
• In 2025 wife passed away.
• In 2026, sons got possession of and sold property

Letter of the law seems that we get a step-up in 2018 but not in 2025 due to how irrevocable trusts work.

Is there a reasonable pathway to using IRC § 2036(a) with a tax attorney to get a full basis step-up in 2025? We are looking at a significant tax-bill otherwise. Thank you!

My grandfather died in 2024. He named my aunt estate trustee and left his estate to 7 grandchildren, including me. My father - her brother - was NOT a beneficiary, but was alternate trustee if she couldn’t/wouldn’t act.

My father and aunt had a bad relationship long before this. Despite inheriting nothing, he retained a lawyer, challenged her administration and wanted to replace her as trustee. I suspect his hostility has influenced some siblings, though I can’t prove it. At times it feels like a vendetta at the beneficiaries’ expense.

The disputes include:
• House appraised at $680k. A neighbour floated $640k; my aunt listed at $730k and sold it for $705k.

• A nearly new 2023 Genesis sold to my brother for $51.5k against his inheritance. It was appraised, but I don’t know the value; if materially higher, that deserves explanation.

• A \~$113k RRIF my grandfather designated to my aunt. The bank paid her directly. Family argues it should belong to the estate/conflicts with her trustee role. The estate incurred \~$32k tax, largely from it. I understand the concern, but haven’t seen evidence the designation was invalid.

• Various administration expenses (travel, lawn care, staging, an iPad, etc.) that I don’t find unreasonable.
Before my aunt arrived, my father and others entered the house and removed cash, jewellery, alcohol, photos and other property; some wasn’t returned. Their later scrutiny of her expenses feels hypocritical.

In 2025 we were offered \~$55k each as an interim distribution. I reviewed the accounting and signed my release. Others refused and later filed formal objections.

Legal/accounting costs are now \~$55,320, with \~$240,875 held back. I’ve spent \~$7–8k personally on independent legal advice.

My position: I’m not challenging my aunt, alleging fraud, disputing the house sale or claiming the RRIF.

If a court finds she breached her duties, she should be accountable. If my family’s objections succeed, they were justified.

But if they keep litigating and their objections FAIL, I don’t think those costs should reduce all 7 inheritances equally. I didn’t initiate or support this fight. I think those pursuing unsuccessful objections should bear the costs attributable to them.

This has basically destroyed my family relationships. My father and cousins stopped speaking to me, I’ve been excluded from family events, and siblings have travelled to my city together without contacting me.

I’m angry, so I know I’m not perfectly objective. Maybe I’m giving my aunt too much benefit of the doubt or unfairly attributing motives to my father.

AITA for refusing to join their objections and wanting unsuccessful challengers - not every beneficiary - to bear the resulting costs? Am I unreasonable for questioning why the only child who inherited nothing became such a driving force in this dispute?

If we don't have kids and retain a significant amount of wealth when we pass away, who should we give it to?

I'm trying to figure out whether we should give it to specific family members, charity donations, etc.

Usually when folks have kids, they continue their legacy by passing down their wealth to the next generation.

Have you thought about who "deserves" to be mentioned in your will? How will your assets/savings be divided? How to have the maximum positive impact with all your life's work?

Illinois resident. I’m old enough to start end of life planning. I’m married and my wife is 10 years younger, so the plan is for me to pass first (lol). I have retirement savings, spouse is beneficiary, checking account (spouse is beneficiary), house is in my name but I have filed a TODI so it passes to her. My car is in both of our names. I don’t have any valuables, just clothes, books and tools. No significant debt although I usually put a couple hundred on a credit card each month and pay it off monthly.

I don’t see a need for a will. My small debts and personal property could be taken care of with a small estate affidavit. Some folks have told me that I should have a will anyway with the same provisions as my beneficiary designations and TODI. That seems counterproductive to me, as I fear that a will and beneficiary/TODIs would complicate things. It doesn’t seem efficient to have a will (which could cost $4000) to pass my personal property on to my spouse as it’s all in our household. Does anyone have experience on handling inheritance this way? I suppose if we both died the same day a will would be handy, but I imagine it would follow the same distribution as if I were intestate- step kids and siblings.

Hi all. As we know in this day and age, boomers are not passing down anything to their children and hoarding onto generational wealth for life. And typically if they do pass anything down, they then proceed to downsize their life. Well this is a situation for you. My parents live in a wonderful home (technically two-family) home and they've owned it for 30+ years. Beautiful neighborhood and close to NYC. It's not huge in size but has double everything being a former 2 family home. We've been utilizing it as a one family the past few years. If you been on the Northeast, you know what I'm talking about! Not huge but definitely an great and stable property in the suburbs of NYC metro. Because its in this area, property value is VERY high.

For years, my siblings and I who are now grown adults and working have been wanting to keep the home in the family. Ideal situation would be our parents to let it be part of the family as its technically our only asset from them. But, they also want to move to a bigger house.. they've been wanting to move to the south for awhile now and want to sell this current home for a mansion in the south. (Keep in mind, none of their children will live there with them and we have no appeal for the south as most of our life is here in the Northeast and NYC area.) They can get a great value for selling and even have some money left over after by buying new house in the south.

With houses in the south being cheaper than that in the north - our siblings are trying to convince our parents to let us buy them the new "cheaper" house and keep our current one as an inheritance. We don't want to keep it for money sake but for obvious sentimental values, potential property value down the line, and life-association with this home!

Is this stupid of us?! If our parents sell this current home, then buy a huge mansion in middle of nowhere Texas where no one wants to move or live, then we are stuck with that burden of a home down the line. It feels less of a burden for us to just give them money to buy their new home and that's it..

Or buy the house from them at a lower cost compared to a local investor etc, and then let them use that money to buy the house... but at the same time parents will want the $$$ thats these local investors are offering (thats where the boomer mentality steps in)

I know this isn't too well written out but I wanted to get people's opinions on this..

I know its our parents and they can do what they want, but we're telling them, if we lose the house, we really lose all our potential of general wealth etc lol.

(and also it is a cultural thing but we'd be more than glad to help them buy a new house rather than sell this current one off. love my parents and want to see them get what they want but dont want us to miss out on potential "heirloooms" )

TLDR: Parents want to sell house to buy new larger house for themselves in south, but we rather buy them a new home so we can inherit the current one and not lose it's value!

I am about to inherit around $500k from my father’s estate. He passed in 2015 and his will stipulated that his earnings from assets remain to help support his second wife. She has now passed as well. My question is what taxes should I expect to pay? The funds are in State Farm mutual funds bonds and equities. Thanks in Maryland

Mom passed in May. I'm 48F and the named executor. Three of us, me, my brother (52) and my sister (44). The will splits everything equally, a third each. The estate is her house (about 310k, no mortgage), roughly 95k in a brokerage account and 40k in cash.

While pulling the statements together for probate I went back through her bank records. Over the last 12 years she gave my brother a substantial amount of money. A 40k down payment in 2016, a car in 2019, 22k to clear his credit cards in 2021, and she covered his mortgage for 14 months across 2022 and 2023. Adding up only what I can actually see, it comes to about 175k. There may be more further back, that's just as far as the online records go.

There is nothing in the will about any of it. No loan agreement, no promissory note, nothing written down anywhere. When I raised it with my brother he said it was between him and Mom, that it isn't anybody else's business, and that I should do my job and distribute what's there.

My sister has no idea. She has never asked and it has never come up once.

My understanding is that gifts made during her lifetime aren't estate assets, and that my accounting only covers what she owned on the date of death, so legally I don't think I'm required to raise it. But my sister will find out eventually, and if that happens after distribution she is going to want to know why I sat on it.

Do I put it in front of both of them, or do I stick to the estate and leave the rest alone?

Location: Ohio

For the administrator of an estate in NY probate, I understand the formula for compensation for his/her work but how do you determine the total value of the estate for that payment? Is it the total value of the assets collected or is it the assets minus the debts paid at the end of the process? Thanks.

Location: North Carolina, US (both dead people lived/died there), I live in Minnesota, US

So, my dad died a few months ago, and then my grandma died like 10 days later. My grandmother’s will left her money (an assisted living account and some investments) to her 4 children (one of which was my dad) equally. She did not change her will after my dad died (she was pretty out of it by that point, so they actually didn’t even tell her). So, we all assumed my dad’s portion of the money would go to my mom (to whom he was married when he died). But apparently that is not correct, it actually goes to me (his only child).

My mom was told by probate court that she didn’t need to set up an estate for my dad bc he didn’t have enough solely-owned assets (only like his normal person stuff - clothes, etc). And he had a small credit card balance and his car loan in his name (everything else also had my mom’s name on it, too). He actually died while driving, and totaled his car, and after the insurance pay out, the balance owed is like $8k.

Here’s my questions:

1. Do I or my mom have to pay his car note?
2. In working with the money people to get the investments transferred over to me, I got a message saying “they \[the financial company’s “estate team”\] are requesting a small estate affidavit with a notarized letter from probate court showing you as the beneficiary to \[my dad\].” What does this mean? I am not my dad’s beneficiary, my mom is. Will getting this letter from the court affect my mom in any way? Are they just looking for proof that I’m not a random person with the same last name?
3. I know questions are supposed to be specific, but like, what should I do? How does one “money”?

Live in Florida.

$6 million estate $5.5 mil in liquid assets, $550k in real estate $100k in Rolex watches, Porsche 911, $10k 🔫 collection, tools, works of art.