r/inheritance

My mother said that she would take ownership of two houses over herself after my father died from cancer. Legally, me (24 female), my brother (18 male) and her (45 female), have rights to the houses. But my mother said that since we are so young we wouldn't know how to be responsible for the houses, hang out with untrusty people and lose the house (i would never hang out with sketchy people). My brother already accepted and gave everything over my mother, he says he will just work hard to buy himself a home in this economy (almost impossible to do with no help) and he thinks my mother will help whenever we need. Everyone said "don't you trust your mother? Don't you know your mother? She would never get remarried." My mother always criticises on what i spend my money while she keeps buying the most useless stuff to our house. Yes she gives me money, but i feel ashamed to ask for money to her all the time especially as i am growing up and growing old. She says everything will be ours with me and my brother after she dies, and that she will give me one more thing than she does to my brother in her will. This is causing me a lot of distress. We are in Turkey.

Missouri USA....My parents have both died since March. I am the only child, and I'm married with 3 kids, (18, 13 and 13). My mother has 50K in an IRA that was never touched in her retirement. Additionally they have a house that they paid 190K for in 2024, a little over 100k in a money market account, and 60 acres of farm land in central MO.

I understand that I need probably an attorney and financial advisor...my question is, what do I tell these people? I would like to be debt free....have some money to give the kids some day, and also secure or enhance our retirement....to the group-what have you seen be most effective with people in this position?

Estate located in Wisconsin. I just learned that my mother, whom I haven’t spoken to in decades, died about a month ago. My father is already deceased. My sister (I don’t talk to her either) didn’t tell me my mother died, I only found out through the grapevine. I recently received a “courtesy letter” in the mail from an attorney with a document for me to sign stating I won’t contest the will. The will is one page, I am not mentioned. I don’t want anything other than copies of family photos, my paternal grandfather’s original autobiography (my sister despises that side of the family and would not appreciate this heirloom) and a couple small items that are my personal property (all of which I doubt I’ll get but I am at least going to ask). While going through the wad of paperwork that came with the signature form I noticed my sister grossly undervalued the estate. Like, she listed it at $100,000 when the house & acreage alone are easily in the 300k range. Then there’s the contents, vehicles & equipment. I won’t bore you with an inventory, but there’s significant value there as well. Probably close to double what my sister has valued the entire estate at.
Why would my sister lie about this? The signature page says “under the penalty of perjury” so there must be some consequence for being dishonest.

My family is fighting over a future inheritance situation and I genuinely want outside opinions.

A mother with 4 daughters owns a house that was built over the years with money from 3 of the daughters. The 4th daughter contributed much less financially and admits that herself.

The mother now wants to leave the house equally to all 4 daughters.

Two of the daughters think that’s unfair and think it should be more proportional, something like:

- 30%

- 30%

- 30%

- 10%

Their argument is:

“If 3 daughters financially carried the construction and upkeep of the house for years, why should someone who contributed very little inherit the same amount?”

But here’s where it gets complicated.

One of the daughters arguing for the proportional split cleans houses for a living and still sent money consistently while trying to save money for her future home.

Another daughter who contributed a lot lives in a house with mold issues and an outdated kitchen from the 70s because she prioritized sending money to her mother instead of fixing her own home.

The third contributing daughter disagrees with the proportional split entirely. She says:

“If some daughters were more financially successful or able to give more, that doesn’t mean the other deserve less inheritance. Mom should divide it however she wants.”

The daughter who contributed the least is single and has 5 working children. She did help her husband financially at one point by sending money for HIS house in Mexico, and she also owns land with her kids where they’re building. She feels attacked and judged by the other sisters for even bringing this issue up.

What do you think is actually fair here?

Edited: "Trigger warning" This post is 1/2 rant, 1/2 advice seeking & it may offend you reading it. If you feel the need to say something hurtful, please keep it to yourself -- I promise you I am GREAT at beating myself up already; no need to pile on 😉 Please be kind, or move on to the next post. Yes, it's long-winded; I'm sorry if that pisses some people off.

My sister and I inherited a house in Massachusetts that I am living in. The house is filled with 100 years worth of knicknacks, large, heavy, antique furniture, and lots of junk; all usable, donate-able junk, but not junk we/I need. It is *beyond cluttered,* and I am struggling with semi- debilitating mental & physical health issues, on top of the clutter.

My sister refuses to take the time to come help me empty the house (my main challenge is the antiques, many of which are very large and cumbersome; no idea if any of them have any value, and I have been too ashamed to let an appraiser come in to assess their value).

We also inherited a mess of EE-bonds that a new estate lawyer is struggling to locate at the treasury -- they (the gov't) 'misplaced' all records of those allegedly. There is also a handful of coins we have no idea the value of (lawyer is also working to get those appraised) and a few investment accounts with around $100k-$500k in them for us to split...or at least that was my understanding of how distribution worked.

My sister claims that the contents of the estate will be not be split 50/50, but rather the house (that she refuses to help me sort through and have appraised) will be appraised -- magically, apparently, because I don't know how to go about doing that correctly by myself -- and half the value of it will be subtracted from all the other contents of the estate. I said to her, "so you expect me to buy you out for half the appraised value of the house?" and her response was, "no, half the value of the house will come out of the remainder of whats left for us....". To me, although I understand the logic and fairness of *her understanding* of the distribution, I am sitting on a piece of property that is worth approximately $400k, and living in a house that is worth approximately $100-$200k.... but it is a *MASSIVE* weight on my shoulders: one that she refuses to acknowledge. One piece of emotionally painful context is that she has inherited at least $1M+ from a family friend, and has been frivolous in her spending of it; she sends me and others crap ("gifts") that only add to the stress of my living space, despite having asked her to please not send more "things" -- things I have to spend time and energy donating to others. I know that it's not my business how she spends her money, but it had added insult to injury given the situation I am faced with, and feel burdened with everyday.

Context issue #1: My sister is pressuring me to put the deed of the house in my name, and I am assuming she wants *her half* of the value of it taken out of the value of the other estate items, first. She essentially wants to wipe her hands of the house, and it's contents, and apparently go her merry way. I can appreciate that part of it -- she is busy building a house of her own elsewhere, in another state, with all of her million(s) of dollars.

Meanwhile, I have been paying, out of pocket for a handful of expenses to keep the house standing (i.e. having a roof leak repaired, the property taxes to the town for all of 2025, and 3/4 of 2026 paid, paying to cut down some trees that were threatening to fall on my neighbors' roofs, and paying to replace the kitchen cabinets that were contaminated by mouse feces due to them having been built from scratch back in 1970, and some other things like that). I had the money previously to do all of that from when I bought and sold a fixer-upper elsewhere, but that savings is slowly dwindling.

I had anticipated that the remainder of my inheritance (coins, EE-bonds, stocks) would be there to help me pay to remain living here & help me to pay for property taxes, repair/up-keep expenses & home owners insurance, since the new career I am in school to train for, may not. I also anticipated paying her for half the sale of the house when I was able and ready to sell it; but right now, I have no where to go, no real to move to anywhere else in particular, and the thought of having to move elsewhere is terrifying given the housing market (buy a "fixer-upper" for $400k?? 🤢). I also live in a neighborhood with very nice, quiet people, and leaving would mean potentially going from the frying pan to the fire, elsewhere). But I had *no intention* of not giving her half of that money down the road. I would even be willing to make small payments to her on the fair market value of the house over time.

My parents are dead, and I feel alone, despite having a few lovely friends who are terribly busy themselves trying to make a living. I am doing the best I can, and I am FULLY aware of how lucky I am to have been given any inheritance at all... millions of human beings aren't that lucky -- I know this, believe me.

I just need help (and a big hug, to be honest ) and some advice...

Last piece of context: She is now the legal executor of the estate because I *trusted* her not to screw me. I didn't think she was going to force me to buy her out with what's left, because of the burden that this house is. The very expensive lawyer she hired is also trying to finish paying the back taxes on the estate, because "our" previous lawyer my mom hired to handle her estate stopped paying the taxes, and then quit, once my sister hired a new laywer due to the old lawyer's negligence with the estate. The deed of the house falls under the estate, and my Mom left all of her assets to us, 50/50.

Thank you for reading; sorry it was long-winded.

Recently a lifelong friend of my ex husband (Summerton, SC) passed away, and we have been informed that my son, who lives in WI, has been named as beneficiary to an annuity, which is quite substantial.

In order to claim this benefit, we must provide the Life Insurance Company with a certified copy of this friends Death Certificate. This is a problem, since we are not related to the deceased, Clarendon County Vital Records in SC will not release the official Death Cert to my son.

We then called VitalChek, informed them of the issue and asked if there were any exceptions to be made for people who had a vital interest in obtaining a death certificate, such as an inheritance?? They said nope, however if you get a judge to sign for it, we would have to give you one.

Has anyone else contended with this kind of arbitrary roadblock? If so, how did you resolve it? Thanks.

My mother passed last month leaving me as the trustee of the trust she created for her assets. I’m I. The US. The financial institution has asked me to create a new trust with my own ein number to transfer the money to do I can disperse it from there. They’ve asked me to name whether what I’m creating is a family trust, a descendants trust, or a generational trust, said which one it is would be laid out in the trust documents, but it’s not, at least not explicitly. I’m assuming there are tax implications to this?? Maybe? Apparently it’s up to me to interpret what kind of trust this is; anyone have any thoughts? Are there benefits/downsides to each I should consider?

My dad is alive but declining. Years ago he made me executor of his will and I went to the attorney when it was created, the will states my (addict) brother’s inheritance will go into a trust, mine won’t. My brother doesn’t know this and I don’t want to tell him either. Anyone had a similar situation and how did the trust recipient handle it?

One thing nobody talks about enough is how complicated inheritance becomes emotionally. It’s never just about money or property. It brings up grief, old family dynamics, resentment, entitlement, and years of unresolved issues all at once.

I’ve seen families stay close for decades and completely fall apart after a death because suddenly everyone remembers what they think they “deserve.”

WA State

My mother passed and left an ira to be split between her kids. My parents' ameriprise financial advisor says I have to take it all cash immediately and that it will be considered community property.

I'm contemplating divorce and want to keep this money safe. Is the ameriprise advisor correct that i have to take it in one lump sum ? Is this money considered community property?

Edit: I was just corrected that this is a "non-qualified ira" and that is why I have to cash it out immediately.

Members refer to what’s can and can’t be allowed regarding a person when the person is still alive?! It isn’t an estate! It’s that person’s money and assets and you have no right to it no matter if you’re related!

My son’s father passed in February, we live in Florida in broward county, his aunt filed probate for his estate and lied on the application saying that he has no child.

He only had 1 child with me and never been married to me or anyone else so my son is his only heir. She is doing this out of spite and I know it.

I found out this today. I never filed for probate because I didn’t know his assets, he didn’t have a property and his car wasn’t fully paid, I know he has a 401k and most likely a good amount in his savings but not sure how to find out. I guess he has enough since the aunt decided to file for it and it’s a “formal administration”

What can I do? Should I call her lawyer and tell him he in fact has a son and she knowingly lied about it? What if she decides to challenge it? This is so stressful

Location: Midwest United States.

Long-story-short, an uncle we have that lives far away passed unexpectedly. His estate is estimated $5m-$10m. My youngest brother is blood related to him, I am not. I was born to a different father, but my mom remarried when I was an infant and the man who is my brothers father, is my dad. I had about the same level of relationship to this uncle as my brother. So my feelings are a bit shitty. On one side, I feel guilty I am getting about getting a $20k car whereas my older siblings get nothing... (luxury brand, that I cannot afford the gas/insurance on so I have to sell it) and I obviously feel weird now that my younger brother is going to be getting life changing, retire in his 30s, type of money.

To be clear, I am really happy he is setup for life. I love my brother and want nothing but his happiness. To me, I will love him the same and I hope your relationship dynamic stays the same. My brother is my best friend, we hangout a lot and do plenty together. I am now not going to be able to keep up with lifestyle, go to the events they will, the trips they will, and I will be grinding my life away for another 30+ years while he retires and chills. There is this incredibly human part inside of me that feels really icky and I want the feeling to go away and only be happy for him, but the envy is sadly there mixed with the feeling of grieving. I hate it.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you cope? Any advise you folk have?

thank you.

Location: Kentucky

It's been almost two decades, and the attorney overseeing my great uncle's estate is still holding over $23,000 in funds. He's made excuses for years as to why he hasn't turned this unclaimed money over to the State Treasurer's office. In my last correspondence with him, he told me I had received my share of the inheritance and that no more funds were coming my way. He says other heirs have been unresponsive all this time, and speculates (correctly) that many are deceased, but that he will continue searching and move down to children/grandchildren of these deceased heirs if that's the case.

He's frankly full of s*** and stands to benefit nothing by wasting his time doing this, and thus has HASN'T been doing jack for the better part of 20 years. No one is alive that even knew my great uncle, so they'll assume it's a scam even if he manages to locate them (which he won't). I acknowledge that I don't know the law, but is there nothing that says the one person he is capable of contacting (me) is eligible to receive the remaining balance on the estate given the amount of time that has passed? Does this money have to sit in his coffers for all eternity while he draws interest and pays himself legal fees? It's not a ton of money in relative terms, so I'm afraid of paying an attorney and nothing come of it, but I really don't know what else I can do to get him to relinquish these funds to someone/anyone.

I am a NJ resident. My parents lived in NY (5 Boroughs). This was my childhood home (jointly owned by them). Both my parents passed away within a year of each other. Mom passed in mid 2025. Dad passed recently in Jan 2026.

The home was put in my name mid 2025 after mom passed...via a "life estate deed transfer" (as recommended by an elder law attorney). This allows dad to have a life estate of the home and he gets to live in the house for the rest of his life. When he passes away, the full ownership automatically get transferred to me and I will get a step up basis.

The home is worth around $1M or so. I plan on selling it with the next few months (8 or 9 months after his death). When I sell it, what will my step up basis be? Will I have any capital gain taxes? Is there a reasonable time frame to sell the home where selling price automatically = cost basis?

Other info: No probate. All his other assets (bank accts, IRAs, brokerage accts, pension, etc) either were TODs or had me listed as 100% beneficiary.

My sister (32f) passed three months ago and her boyfriend (42m) has always been clear about not preferring people in his family's home. The only reason my sister moved in there was because she was evicted and he is the caregiver for his parents (70s?), so... unfortunately it made "sense" at the time.

We all knew this was NOT a great solution, but I don't want to get into all the details about woulda coulda shoulda in getting her the help and solutions she truly needed. It's still fresh, which is why I'm here....

Everyone has different approaches to grief. We don't blame her boyfriend (entirely.) But some of her things are still in his family's house. I understand he doesn't want people in there as it is a hazard, but we aren't judgemental and her things are now our family's things and we don't know absolutely what's there, but we know her medals and playbills and small valuables aren't with us from the first go-around, so there is more in the bedroom they shared.

He is grieving too, but he's avoiding what needs to happen. It's reached a point where he's intentionally dodging us. We don't want to involve the police, but, seriously, what can we do?

Happy to provide further context if it's felt necessary. Drugs and guns I don't feel a concern, however alcohol always was. My dad doesn't feel comfortable my mom and me showing up alone there, but she and I both feel like "what's he gonna do," but, again, grief and alcohol....

Hello, I have about 10k owed to Chase and $5k owed to discover. I’m based in the US. These are from relying on CC when low income and making poor choices, and I’ve completely stopped using CC and got a better job over the last year. Before that, I panicked and thought I’d just let them go to collections so I stopped making payments and then both closed my cards - then I realized that’s not good so they put me on direct payment plans that I’ve been paying for the last six months. So the cards are closed, my credit took a big hit, and still have debt.

Now I’m due to get an inheritance soon that I can use to fully pay off my debts and get a fresh start, but I’ve heard that you might be able to negotiate a smaller payment to wipe out the debt in full. That would be great so I have more leftover to put into actual savings. My big question is whether I need to call and negotiate with these banks BEFORE depositing my check, or if it’s possible to deposit it in a different new bank while doing my negotiations. Because right now it’s true that I’m living paycheck to paycheck so hopefully the banks will work with me, but if the check arrives before I make a deal, how bad is it for me to deposit it so I have more cash to work with?

And if I negotiate before cashing the check, how do I then go about paying them? Do they immediately want a payment that day, or do they set something up where I can schedule a payment transfer? My friend advised me that I should tell Chase a family member is helping me pay off debt if I can work out a deal - which is true from a certain point of view - but how much will they look into the situation?

Thanks for any help.

I’m inheriting $500k from my grandpa who passed, and my mom wants me to use it to buy a house. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m going to buy a house in the city I want to live in. I’m a freelancer, but I’m really good with my money. No debt. Excellent credit score. I add to my ROTH every year when I can.

I make about $30k-$40k a year. Since I’m single, I’m going to have a couple friends move in with me and rent out some rooms. I won’t have a mortgage, so it’s all going to go into savings or towards the house.

But it’s wild going from 800sq feet to almost 3,000. And I’m not sure how it’s going to affect my relationships with my friends, or if I’ll have to completely change my lifestyle and habits. I’m just going for it and diving in.

EDIT: I’m already set for retirement based on the additional inheritance I’m slated to get when my parents (who are divorced) pass. I’m super fortunate to come from an upper-middle class family. And the dude I marry will be able to live mortgage and rent free (yes I want to get married and have a family).

My grandmother left my mother around €30k inheritance money. The agreement in the family was that the money would eventually be split equally between my mother’s two daughters, but my mother would hold onto it and give it “when needed.”

My older sister got half almost immediately because she needed money for college. That part made sense to everyone.

But over the years, my mother kept giving my sister more and more money from what was supposed to be my half too. Not small amounts either. On top of that, she slowly spent the rest on daily living, random spending...

She withdrew money month after month for years.

The worst part is that she let me believe my share still existed. I only found out the truth when I mentioned wanting to buy an apartment and said I would finally use my part of the inheritance. That’s when she admitted there was basically nothing left.

She is my mother, I understand she was naive and she is really sorry now, but it is hard for me to forget.

Hi. I live in a different state, but my father has recently passed on in New York. I had not spoken to him for many years.

I have no awareness of his tax returns, bank accounts or anything. I need to find his will and also figure out where/what bank accounts he had. The landlord who cleaned out his apartment when he went to the nursing home found nothing of value or relevant information such as bank statements or tax returns.

The lawyer I contacted who is located in New York said she doesn't know what to tell me other than to contact the nursing home to see how his stay was covered. I did that, and they said his insurance was listed as Medicaid and Medicare.

Medicaid requires someone to be low income, but I still want to check and find out what is out there. I wouldn't put it past him to hide money or assets somewhere. I don't want anything he had to just go to the state.

One person I talked to said a lawyer told them I should hire a private investigator to find out where his bank accounts were, if any.

Should I try contacting another NY lawyer? Should I hire a private investigator? Is there an easier way I can find his will? I'm sure he had one because he was a lawyer.

Thank you all.