u/quennplays

My mother said that she would take ownership of two houses over herself after my father died from cancer. Legally, me (24 female), my brother (18 male) and her (45 female), have rights to the houses. But my mother said that since we are so young we wouldn't know how to be responsible for the houses, hang out with untrusty people and lose the house (i would never hang out with sketchy people). My brother already accepted and gave everything over my mother, he says he will just work hard to buy himself a home in this economy (almost impossible to do with no help) and he thinks my mother will help whenever we need. Everyone said "don't you trust your mother? Don't you know your mother? She would never get remarried." My mother always criticises on what i spend my money while she keeps buying the most useless stuff to our house. Yes she gives me money, but i feel ashamed to ask for money to her all the time especially as i am growing up and growing old. She says everything will be ours with me and my brother after she dies, and that she will give me one more thing than she does to my brother in her will. This is causing me a lot of distress. We are in Turkey.

What type of grand benefits meditating everyday has? How do you deal with people like these, or do you deal with them at all?
Edit: Thank you everyone for this helpful and insightful conversation, it has been very illuminating!

We know that Buddhist monks and nuns lead a religious life, devoting their time to the Dharma. But, as a person not living in a country with a major Buddhist population, i don't know what the average Buddhist look like and i'd like to learn to feel less alone in my daily life while also learning practices to perform in my daily life. Thank you!

Kartta 5000 lira var kartın şifresi oluşturuldu, kart daha hiç kullanılmadı ben bu kartla steam'den neden alışveriş yapamıyorum?

All of my family never ever cared about what i liked, what i wanted, what i have been going through. All of them has an idea of what should happen and what i should do, according to the image they have of me in their heads. They have not supported me for my own personal improvement and agency, and passions that just make me happy. Yet, when i have a shortcoming compared to other people my age, they turn on me and blame me for everything. Even though i have been doing good compared to a lot of the young adults my age. I have been dealing with everything alone. I am scared to ask for help to them, as i am scared they won't understand. Of course a lot of the times they have helped me with practical things in life and setting me up in adulthood, but i feel like they only did it out of tradition, as this is what families do, rather than a personal help to their daughter/relative. Especially my mother, rather than helping me, she loves blaming me, she blames me for who i am, for what i like and what i do. It looks like she doesn't even want me to get better, she just likes blaming me and insulting me. They don't know who i really am. And maybe it's better this way, as the real sweet, intelligent and compassionate me is saved for the people who really deserve it by being there for me and supporting me. I have been scared to be real with them since little, out of a fear of abandonment, however this fear has gotten less and less in life as i have learned to have radical self love and compassion for myself, also finding real supportive relationships, slowly but surely making my own life as i like. They are actually so sweet and i like spending time with them, they are not so bad but they are not so good either. Yes they have taught me a lot and i am grateful for that, but i don't think they really get how the world is today and my character and my personal preferences which i have a right to have just like every other person. I have built up massive patience and endurance. Everything i have accumulated and achieved in life have been through my own efforts and willpower, yes those people helped me out from time to time but that is necessary for every person to achieve some sort of success, and i have persisted for my own goals despite what some people said, and also i have tried to help those people back as much as i can, i hope i have been of some help. But yeah, i am disadvantaged.

It feels like there is some outer consciousness that can hear my thoughts right now and answers my questions and statements through passing cars, like when it's a white car it means yes and when it's any other car it means no. I have never hallucinated my whole life. I'm just wondering did any of you experienced something like this? It's not the first time i felt like this, it's like the Universe responds to your thoughts in real time. I KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THIS SOUNDS BUT I CAN'T STOP FEELING LIKE IT'S TRUE. It responds in other ways too, it doesn't feel scary, it just feels like obsessive, it feels like a friend who understands and helps me laugh or even my own HIGHER SELF. It wasn't like this a week ago.
I took 5 mg of Ritaline thinking i might have ADHD without the knowledge of my psych for a week now 😭 i guess i should just accept that i might be bipolar. I should have asked a doctor about wanting to try ADHD medication first before taking a drug already past its expiry date! I know there are other ways bipolar patients can take ADHD meds, i am just scared my psych won't take my needs for a stimulant med seriously and will just blow it off saying i am just bipolar!

I hated how they treated me today. I did everything to help my mom aide the guests and made them coffee but this woman is still complaining about a few dishes left in the sink. That's all that's left and i did this because she told me that she was sick. I hate how i am treated like i am a house maid and it is my job to do all these work just to survive. It fucking is not. I am not this person. I am not like other women whose only job is to be a house maid. I am a deep, wise, practical, reasonable and intelligent woman who is gonna make her way up in the world no matter what. I WILL NEVER PLAY THE ROLE THEY CHOSE FOR ME EVER AGAIN AND I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK IF THEY LEAVE ME ALONE IN FACT I WOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY SO THAT I CAN FINALLY BE MYSELF AND ENJOY LIVING I AM NOT A FUCKING MOTHER NOT A JOBLESS WIFE NOT AN OLD GRANDMA I AM A YOUNG FUCKING GIRL WHO SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE WHAT ENJOYING LIFE MEANS I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT ANY ONE OF YOU AND YOU WILL FUCKING LEAVE ME TO BE MYSELF OR WILL ACCEPT ME AS I AM I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT IF YOU ARE HAPPY OR SAD YOU CAN GO KILL YOURSELF TOMORROW AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET ME BE HAPPY THEN I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I SIMPLY DON'T HAVE TO NO ONE CAN MAKE ME DO ANYTHING

After a family trip to the mountains we were coming back to city and there was a lot of fog in the traffic since it was rainy. I realised i am on my period in the toilet along the way, i had to be back home fast. I told this to my mom so that we would be home faster. But of course, on the road she just kept telling my grandad to drive slower because of the fog and told him to drive after a slow going truck. Every other car was passing through back by back and i just said that we should get into the chain of cars, we would be safe since we would be able to see each car since we would be close to each other. But she just kept yelling my grandad to go slower as if he went a little faster we would die. My aunt said "ok you work and get yourself your car and drive that way then" i laughed and said "ok i would get married this minute and have a car then it's easy to have husband's car" since she never worked herself and uses her husband's car. I went hard on her because she had been treating me less, telling me stupid for not giving up all my rights to my mom while telling me that it's normal and she has given up all she has to her husband but today she says that she has a store to her name(another long soul sucking story). And my mother kept telling me to "be nice to your elders, you think you know everything", i said, i never said anything bad to her (though she did to me), and i said that i never said i know everything. My grandpa tried to shut me down telling me to shut up and i told him why don't her (my mom) shut up? And i was silent the whole way back home and all of our happy spirit we enjoyed during our "adventure" in which we trailed the mountain and found a few mushrooms, was gone. I thought to myself "i don't have to make anyone happy". I am so done. My family infantilises me even though i am 24 years old, everyone thinks my opinions don't matter and that i don't know what life is like. I have things to say too. I have things i wanna make myself in this life too, and I don't have to follow anyone's steps or live the same life as someone else. This is my own fucking life. And it doesn't mean that "i know everything" whenever i act in a way that i think is right. I am a different person who enjoys different things and i wanna be fucking happy doing what makes me happy. Heck they confuse my little brother who is 6 years younger than me as my senior brother, because he looks like he has more liberation and freedom in his life than me to a person who isn't that near to our family. He has all that just because he is a male. He is out everyday with his friends even though he should be studying for an important exam and i can't even be left to myself i just have to spend my time with those middle aged women all the time for some reason. I can't be playing video games being "that age" she said.

I know all of this might be too long or confusing but all i wanna say is i am fucking tired. I just wanna feel like i am the master of my own day and thus my own life. I am scared i will never be able to get a job i can do for the long term to have my own money and thus my own integrity, i am scared i will not be able to graduate, it feels like i won't be able to do anything because the life is that harsh on me. If this is the life i have to have for the rest of my life i pray i die tonight. But, i know i am strong. I know i lived elsewhere and dealt with life quite well all on my own and lived very peacefully for some time. I just have to survive this period. Not only survive but improve myself as a person so i will be ready for the next chapter of my life in which i will be working. I also know more about life than they think i do, and i know how to enjoy my own time myself, and i know how to make meaningful connections with friends that feel fun, and i know how to study for my passion. I'm just fucking tired and confused about what i am going through.