Am I 3v orr 1v
Most of the time, I know exactly what I want. I enjoy making decisions for myself and those around me when things are clear. To be honest, I enjoy leading—though I can get flustered at times or a bit reactive if people don't listen. I have a strong aversion to being told what to do or being led, unless it's a field I’m completely unfamiliar with or if the person is significantly more skilled than I am. I want to be the master of my own destiny; I don't want anyone dictating my actions, though I am generally open to feedback if I feel I truly need it.
I have a deep-seated hatred for being controlled (a trait I can trace back to when I was only six years old lol). Sometimes, this escalates into resentment toward my circumstances if they block me from reaching my goals. I also despise it when my own emotions or someone else's influence prevent me from doing what is necessary to progress which makes me do the opposite and insist on doing what I want to do.
I am driven by achievement and growth. I often feel a genuine sense of jealousy toward people who possess skills I lack or haven’t gained yet, those who are special, or those who have already reached high levels of mastery. It’s a mix of jealousy and deep admiration. Regardless, I’m somewhat obsessed with self-improvement and expanding my potential across most fields through knowledge and experience. My passion, you could say, is reaching my absolute limit.
I am highly sensitive to respect. I hate disrespecting others, and I absolutely cannot tolerate being disrespected myself. This sensitivity is so acute that I sometimes interpret certain looks or perceived indifference as a lack of respect—even though I can feel that most people I meet treat me automatically with a level of respect and with formality, which is something I appreciate and maintain. I’m not sure if this is just a personality trait or a byproduct of my upbringing (my childhood was pretty cooked). As a result, my "nice and considerate" persona might vanish if my sense of security is triggered; I become more pragmatic and a little bit harsh, mostly to show people that I’m not just that "nice" side—to assert myself, I suppose. I have zero tolerance for disrespect even from my inner circle; I might not be aggressive with those close to me, but I will make my dissatisfaction very clear.
I’ve always felt more jealous of "quiet leaders"—those who can act naturally or even silly, yet automatically command the room. I admire that innate "dominant" energy they radiate. Even though I don't fake my personality and often end up being the one leading and driving things in groups, I find myself jealous of their ability to make people naturally gravitate toward their leadership, liking them, and hand over authority to them so effortlessly.
Regarding ambition, I find it difficult to maintain long-term goals. I often feel a lack of motivation, especially concerning my studies. Even though I manage to get excellent grades with minimal effort, while helping my parents, working on my personal growth (my strongest suit), and freelancing for my own income—I still find myself questioning my other goals. I often feel they aren't "worth it," or I doubt my willpower to achieve everything I want. However, I do hit my short-term targets whenever I truly set my mind to them. I don't find 3v's "lost in life" concept suitable for me at all, I know what I am going to do despite being lacking motivation a little to it, I don’t feel anxious about my path.
When I look deep inside, I sometimes wonder if I even have "grand" ambitions. Growing up in a very unstable home without the family life I wanted and needed, my core desire is to build the life I never had. I want to reach a state of total inner balance, peace, knowledge, and the wisdom to navigate life without letting it break me. I want to use that wisdom to help others. I want to be closer to God. And eventually, I want to have a stable, warm home with a supportive healthy family of my own.
-If it helps, people often describe me as confident with a strong personality. While I do experience inner doubts at times, I’m usually able to overcome them because of my high level of self-awareness.-