u/SiriusHertz

As I read more RA literature and engage with both the ideas, and the community, it seems that many of the resources talk about rejecting Monogamy (the societal structure, not just the relationship format), and labels, and a lot of other things. This makes sense; we live in constant contact with these things, and they are pervasive in all of our histories and indoctrination.

But, it is never easy to just stop doing something. It's much easier to start doing something else. I have yet to find any good resources that describe in positive, concrete terms things we should be doing, or should try to do, to supplant these things.

A few examples:

• Don't label things, as much as possible*
• Don't describe connections as "partners" because it has connotations of control
• Avoid dyadic relationship interactions, and work towards community support and interactions instead

* Juan-Carlos Pérez-Cortés gives a few examples of how he handles this in Relationship Anarchy: Occupy Intimacy! Those work great for parties or extended conversations, but are harder in less involved social situations.

Lots of the things I have personally chosen to embrace in my practice are mental and emotional, but have very little outward-facing / visible footprint. It is basically impossible to tell, from the outside, whether I practice polyamory or relationship anarchy - and indeed, for many people, the two seem to be synonymous. But they really are not - polyamory is so often control or rule-based, basically taking the oxymoronic form of multiple monogamy. Relationship anarchy rejects those rules and the structure they are based in.

Given that we live in a world with an overwhelmingly dominant Monogamous social structure, how do you personally push back against the perception of belonging to that world, when you do? What parts of your personal practice might others be able to adopt? And when do you avoid pushing back, either because it's simpler, or because pushing back can be dangerous in various ways?