lost my savings betting on the world cup. Store dumplings.
This morning I woke up hating myself and numb from last night betting on the france vs paraguay game. today i decided it would be a good decision to empty the rest of my 3000 dollars checking account onto the mexico versus england game. Go Mexico. One bet to make it all back. Take a guess what happened. The only reason i'm not completely broke is the money my grandparents gave me for college which I put into the S&P and couldn't take out over the weekend. I have $3000 dollars left of my 7000 in savings. I know it's not much money but it's all I have since I quit my job.
This spiraled out of control from the grief of my sister passing away last month, when her cocaine was laced with fentanyl. Which has also sent my
brother (26) off the deep end, who's been diagnosed with schizophrenia. My family is now worried he's gonna die soon too, because of his developing substance abuse. it's never been this bad. he's been in the hospital for the past month and i feel so guilty that i can't bring myself to see him. He never got to close things off with my sister before she passed.
My now ex girlfriend also found a new man not even a month after i broke up with her, since she couldn't support me after my sister died. she didn't care.
I opted out of all the gambling apps and i'm set to attend a GA meeting tomorrow, but I don't own a car and I don't know how to explain to my parents I need to go there without telling them what's going on. If i told them they would only make it worse. But I suppose that assumes they're invested at all.
I'm eighteen and I can't believe all this happened at once. When it rains it pours. I write music to feel better. I've never been so low, the thought of suicide frequents my mind, and the antidepressants I got aren't doing anything. Cheers. Advice appreciated.