u/Slight_Elevator_7734

If you broke up with someone on good terms,how likely are you to reach out again later?

The only reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about dating someone who's still not completely over her ex.

I just want to know if I'm about to start a relationship...or become the supporting character until the original lead decides he wants another season.

Be honest.Does the guy usually come back or do most goodterm breakups stay in the past?

Need some outside perspective because I genuinely can't tell if I'm being patient or just being stupid.

So I had a crush on this girl back in school. We were good friends but I never confessed because she never gave me any signs and she was the textbook "studies first everything else later" type.

We lost touch after school except for the occasional conversation.

A few months ago, I replied to one of her Instagram stories and we started talking again. That's when I found out she'd recently broken up with her boyfriend. It was mutual but she was still deeply attached to him.

I did what any good friend would do.I listened to her vent for weeks, comforted her, tried to help her move on and honestly it seemed to work. We stopped talking about the breakup and started talking about literally everything else. We texted every day, sometimes for hours.

My old crush came back so I confessed.

She was unsure at first, but eventually she seemed comfortable with the idea. She became more affectionate and I thought, "maybe this is actually happening."

Narrator: It was, in fact, not happening

Now every conversation somehow ends up revolving around her ex. It doesn't matter if we're talking about food, movies or the weather. Somehow, this man gets summoned into the conversation like he's the final boss.

So what do I do?

Do I stay because healing takes time and she might genuinely move on? Or do i accept that I'm just the premium version of emotional support with unlimited customer service?

Guys...have you ever had a girl introduce you to her ex or boyfriend and your brain immediately goes

"Huh...how did this dude bag her?"

Not even trying to be mean. It's just that your expectations are so high from the way she looks or carries herself...and then you meet him and your brain starts buffering.

Then you spend the next five minutes wondering if the guy has

Elite-level rizz

A personality that bends spacetime

Unlimited confidence

Or if he just happened to be at the right place at the right time

I don't know how people actually move on.

Everyone says the same things,delete her photos, delete the chats, stop checking their profile, distract yourself, focus on yourself. I've done all of that. Every single thing people usually suggest.

But none of it has made me miss them any less.

Maybe the hardest part is that nothing terrible happened. No reason to hate them. We ended on good terms and somehow that makes it hurt even more.

And as irrational as it sounds, a part of me still feels connected to them. Like somewhere, somehow, they're thinking about me too. I know that's probably just my heart refusing to accept what my mind already knows.

I just want this feeling to stop. I want to wake up one day and not have them be my first thought. I want to stop carrying someone who has already put me down.

If you've ever loved someone you had to lose,not because either of you were bad people, but simply because life didn't work out..how did you survive it?

Because right now I honestly don't know how

A girl can have a guy who's genuinely giving her attention, respect, loyalty and making an effort. Yet she'll still end up chasing the guy who's avoiding commitment and is a manipulator

Why do you think that happens?

Is it the thrill of the chase? Or are the "nice guys" simply not as attractive as they think they are?

I'm not saying all women do this but it seems common enough to be worth discussing. What's your take?

Here's the reality

Imagine you're talking to a girl on Reddit. The conversation is great, the vibe is there, you're putting in effort, giving her attention, making her laugh and everything seems to be going well.

Then you both move to another social media platform and she finally sees what you look like.

If you don't fit the "conventionally attractive" standard, you'll often notice a sudden shift. The enthusiasm disappears. She starts finding reasons to end the conversation or slowly ghosts you.

Now flip the situation.

If you're a genuinely goodlooking guy, you can put in half the effort, reply late, or do the bare minimum and you'll still have girls chasing your attention.

People love saying "It's all about personality, emotional connectionand vibes"

Sure they matter

But they usually matter after someone is physically attracted to you in the first place.

Looks won't guarantee love and they aren't everything. But acting like they don't heavily influence first impressions and dating opportunities is just denying reality.

It's a tough pill to swallow but pretending otherwise doesn't help anyone.

People often say that a playboy is extremely charming, easy to talk to, confident and knows exactly what to say.

But then, a genuinely extroverted person can have all of those qualities too. Being friendly, confident, and socially skilled doesn't automatically make someone a player.

So where do you draw the line?

What behaviors made you realize someone was a playboy, especially in the early stages? Were there any subtle red flags that you ignored at first but later made perfect sense?