u/Slomiow

Just some minutes ago, I watched some videos that makes me happy and my body was moving by itself, jumping on my gaming which squeak a lot. My bf got woke up (he sleep in the room just beside my desk) and was really angry. He told me that I need to oil my chair tomorrow. He knows very well that I'm an autist and he didn't scream at me but he was pissed, and he is absolutely right.

I feel somehow quite shameful now. I hate that my body move without my consent. I hate even more that it always happens when I'm happy, making me wanting to close my emotions for keeping the control.

What do you think about this ? I come here cause I don't have people to talk right now but I really need to.