u/Slow-Information4711

Hey gang,

I'm a 28M from Canada who found out the day before yesterday that I have classical Hodgkin lymphoma, mixed cellularity subtype, after the surgical pathology report from my core needle biopsy.

I still think I'm in shock because ever since then I've just felt foggy. I'm trying to carry on with my normal day-to-day life as if I don't have cancer, but at the same time I do have cancer, and I genuinely don't know how I'm supposed to react to that.

So far, I've only told my best friend, who lives on the other side of the country. While talking to him about whether or not I should tell my parents, it was the first time I'd shown any real emotion about the whole thing. I'm an immigrant, and my family lives halfway across the world.

Life also has a weird sense of timing. I just accepted a new engineering role that's supposed to start in a couple of weeks, and two days later I found out I have cancer.

I haven't met the oncologist yet, so I have no idea what stage I'm at or what treatment is going to look like. If anyone who's been through this could help clear some of the fog by answering a few questions, I'd really appreciate it.

1. How bad is chemotherapy, realistically? Will I still be able to work while going through treatment? The new role is fully in-person, and I really don't want to fumble this opportunity.
2. Should I tell my parents? They live halfway across the world and realistically can't do much from there. They worry a lot showcased by some health issues I've had in the past, and I can easily picture a situation where I end up spending all my energy reassuring them, or where they spend a ton of money flying here when there isn't really anything they can do.
3. Should I tell other people? I'm handing in my two weeks' notice tomorrow, and all I've been doing is rewatching Hank Green's videos about his experience with Hodgkin lymphoma. It really feels like I'm in for a rough ride. I don't want to become "the cancer guy." I'm also a very avoidant person when it comes to asking for help. I always feel like I'm burdening people, even though I'd drop everything to help someone else without thinking twice.
4. What happens now? I'm just lost. What actually changes? Will I lose all my hair? Will I lose all my muscle? Am I going to be terrible at my job? Honestly, I've felt pretty lonely even before getting this diagnosis, and work had become my escape. Am I cooked, chat?

Thanks for reading. I know a lot of you have been through this already, and I think hearing from people who actually understand what this feels like would help more than anything right now.