u/Slow_Blackberry_1291

I‘m so unbelievably certain that I don’t have DID. I can see all the symptoms and I can even see denial itself as a symptom but it doesn’t change that I 100% believe I don’t have it.

I got diagnosed twice. I sought a professional assessment by a specialist after being diagnosed by a general psychologist. I guess I have an overt presentation and I was immediately told I obviously have it after another alter walked into therapy one day.

There seems to be no way out of this. I asked my therapist multiple times to find a different diagnosis because it cannot be DID. But then I get told I’m the denial alter and it’s normal for me to feel this way but I’m just trapped. I’m trapped in this diagnosis believing I’m a liar and insane.

I’m not sure why I can’t believe it’s DID. I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

Ever since I was diagnosed (DID) I am obsessively analysing myself and my behavior and other alters.

New alters keep showing up sporadically and some are telling and showing me some disturbing things - without giving any details.

I’m not sure how to stop obsessing over it. Because this is about ME. about my life and MY CHILDHOOD.

They speak of things I cannot even remotely imagine. Things that I cannot connect to what I know/remember.

And sometimes there’s nothing for weeks but even then I can’t really stop thinking about it because of all the small little infos I already have.

I have black out amnesia for a big part of my childhood. This doesn’t help at all with my obsession because I can’t know what I don’t know

I realise that I don’t receive more information by “interrogating them like criminals” as one of them said… I see that I can’t force this to happen but I also don’t see how I can stop thinking/obsessing over it.

Because this is about serious crimes supposedly happening during my childhood. Serious trauma memories that are supposedly waiting for me somewhere in my mind. Information about a big part of my life that I - right now - don’t remember at all.

I could really use some advice. Thanks