I don’t want Azriel to find his mate
Is it just me that doesn’t want Azriel to find his mate yet? Because I just KNOW SJM is going to try to sell me some bullshit where this man finds his mate and suddenly 500 years of self-hatred evaporates because a woman told him he’s lovable. Like NO. Put the soulmate-shaped emotional Band-Aid DOWN. Azriel needs to work on himself so badly it’s actually embarrassing. Because why the fuck is this man constantly outsourcing his self-worth, affection, validation, and emotional stability to whoever he happens to be obsessed with at the time? At some point, somebody needs to confiscate his yearning. And I’m sorry, but you cannot sell me “Azriel is the Night Court’s master spy, incredibly observant, intelligent, excellent at reading people” and then expect me to believe this motherfucker has spent five centuries being unable to read himself. You can infiltrate enemy camps, interrogate people, notice tiny behavioral changes, uncover secrets, and apparently smell deception from three kingdoms away, but when it comes to your own attachment issues suddenly your brain is running Windows 95. HELLO??? And the “he was led on for 500 years” excuse makes me want to shake him by the shoulders. FIVE. HUNDRED. YEARS. My brother in the Cauldron, that is not a situationship anymore. That is a fucking historical era. At what point did you think, “Hmm. Perhaps I should examine why I have spent several centuries emotionally orbiting someone who does not want me”? Because apparently the master spy’s greatest unsolved mystery is his own fucking love life. And before anyone says “but he has trauma 🥺”—YES. I KNOW. That is precisely why he needs to deal with it. Trauma explains behavior; it does not mean everybody around you needs to spend the next 500 years paying the emotional bill. And I REALLY don't want his mate being used as his magical rehabilitation program. Because imagine meeting your supposed soulmate and realizing your new job description is: reassure Azriel he’s loved. reassure Azriel he’s wanted. reassure Azriel he’s attractive. reassure Azriel he’s worthy. reassure Azriel you aren't leaving. reassure Azriel again because apparently the previous reassurance expired at midnight. perform emergency emotional CPR whenever he starts spiraling. somehow convince a 500-year-old man that he deserves affection. Girl, GET UP. That is not a mate. That's an unpaid therapist with benefits. Trying to convince someone who fundamentally doesn't believe they're lovable that they are lovable is like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a teaspoon. You can stand there pouring that little ass teaspoon for the rest of eternity and the canyon is STILL going to be there. And frankly, I would feel sorry for his mate because imagine being genuinely in love with somebody and realizing you have to constantly prove that your love is real because they have absolutely no internal foundation of self-worth. Your partner should be able to receive love. They should not need to consume it like it's life support. Azriel needs to learn how to exist without somebody choosing him. He needs to learn that rejection isn't proof that he's defective. He needs to learn that being desired isn't the same thing as being worthy. He needs to stop treating romantic affection like a fucking blood transfusion. And most importantly, he needs to sit his pretty ass DOWN and interrogate himself with the same intensity he supposedly interrogates everybody else. Because I refuse to believe this man can spend centuries uncovering everybody else's secrets but apparently never thought to ask himself, “Why am I this desperate to be chosen?” That is a plot hole with cheekbones. So yes, let him have a mate. Let him fall madly in love. Let him have the romance. But if the character arc is just:** **500 years of self-loathing → finds mate → she calls him beautiful → suddenly he loves himself. I am going to need SJM to run me my fucking money. I don't want his mate to cure him. I want Azriel to do the work BEFORE he gets her, so when she loves him, he's actually capable of receiving that love instead of making her spend the next century trying to convince him he deserves it. Because that woman deserves a husband. Not a 500-year-old emotional support project with wings.