u/SlyJessica

I added a few positive updates early in my social transition and haven’t posted one in a while… So here is more positivity for those who might need it as well as what I’ve learned has worked for me!

Since socially transitioning around Christmas time, I have received 100% acceptance from friends and family. I know this extremely rare and unlikely, especially in upper class, conservative, suburban Ohio. I’m sure there are a few murmurs of negativity, as to be expected, buy I’ve not heard or felt it.

My golf circle has remained the same! I still play with the same group of guys I played with last year and have even been brought in to a few other invitation only events. After the initial questions most had, they now treat me just like any other woman; many actually adopted more a protective role, looking out for me. I have found that several relationships have actually strengthened recently as a few of the guys reached out to grab dinner / drinks etc, just to check in and make sure I’m doing ok after my divorce. The golf club I belong to has created gender neutral restrooms and the staff have all been amazing. The number of members, that I don’t know, who have reached out with positivity is astounding! I will say that I do occasionally hear someone refer to me as he out of habit, but they correct themselves quickly. I don’t make a big deal about it.

Airport travel: I recently took a solo trip to Key West (yes I know Florida is dangerous). I was nervous about traveling through TSA with my new (F) ID, but the agent just smiled. I did get flagged for an additional security, pat down, after going through the detector. There was a male and female agent and the male asked me politely, which one of them I’d prefer. I said it doesn’t matter and the female agent did a quick pat of my hips and smiled as if to say, it’s just our protocol; no issues.

As for relationships, I thought I was destined to spend eternity alone. What I found is that many women are searching for chemistry and I’ve had no shortage of dates ( :

I was able to update my ID (OH) and Birth Certificate (PA) with ease and had no issues at the BMV. *NOTE* I did not change my name so I have no experience with that part.

Why do I say all of this????? I was trained to believe that everyone hates us and that transition would ruin my life. I truly had planned on moving away and starting over somewhere else for a ‘fresh start’. I’ve found, however, that there are SO SO SO many good people in this world who just want to see people happy. Stop listening to what the media tells you about us. It does nothing but bring us down.

Now, for I’ve learned!
I approach my transition with a little levity. I’m 44 and most people have known me as male my whole life; I get that it takes a minute to adjust. I tell people that I understand that not everyone has experience with trans people and I’m happy to answer questions. I also don’t stress about misgendering, when done accidentally. This is new for me too and we’ll get there together. Try to smile and bring confidence wherever you go!!! People can sense if you’re uncomfortable or looking for hostility. I just smile and be kind, and it generally returns itself.

Lastly… I still have anxiety and discomfort in a lot of situations, but the positivity I’ve experienced helps me through it.

So get out there! Go be you! Smile and trust in the goodness of people!

I had a scheduled consultation this morning with a surgeon to discuss the pros and cons of an Orchiectomy -vs- Minimal Depth Vulvoplasty -vs- Full Depth Vulvoplasty. Great information with the surgeon; happy to answer question from what I learned if anyone is curious.

Cut to my drive home… I’m contemplating my options, drive a mile down the road, hit a large pothole, and my entire tail pipe falls off and is left behind. UGHHH

Is this the universe giving me a sign that I should ditch my “pipe” and opt for GRS.

This seriously happened by the way!!!! And i was leaning toward minimal depth!